


The Source of Sorrow

by Cornerofmadness



Series: Sorrows [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-12
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 20:11:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerofmadness/pseuds/Cornerofmadness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy knows he has made a complete and total mess of his life but is he getting a second chance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - not mine, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition.   
> Pairing – Eventually Roy/Riza but starts out Roy/OC, Riza/OC  
> Time Line – anime based, future fic after that movie, with some manga elements like Xing, where Roy learned his alchemy and Armstrong’s other, older sister  
> Author’s Note – This was written for the challenge put forth by tiptoeinthesnow and she wanted some speculation on whether or not Roy would end up as Fuhrer and some romance (okay this is far more angst than romance.) Also, the spark of this story came before the challenge after hearing some songs by Hinder and a few others (I could easily suggest a listening soundtrack for this one). Special thanks to Ishte, mulzrulz, and Mjules for helping me with the movie details (since I was unable to actually make it through the movie) and thanks to evil_little_dog and mulzrulz for the beta.

Chapter One 

_Guilt is the source of sorrow, 'tis the fiend, Th' avenging fiend, that follows us behind, With whips and stings – Nicholas Rowe_

There were days he wanted to just run off and forget that he was the Flame Alchemist. Looking out over the verdant, rolling hills of Resembool, Roy wondered if he could ever just disappear into a small town like this and live a normal life. He tugged his hat lower, trying to shield his distinctive face. With his exotic dark almond eyes, he knew he had always garnered attention and now with the large patch hiding the ruins of part of his face, the attention seemed to have trebled. He didn’t really want anyone to know he came here, which was why he left his uniform behind on these trips.

Roy never knew why he tormented himself like this. Mostly because he owed the girl something. He had messed up with his own lover and didn’t know how to fix that. At least, he could handle this task, looking after Miss Rockbell even if it broke his heart every time. Surely, she’d recover one day, adjust to her loss. Sometimes Roy wondered why she tolerated him at all. She knew what he had done to her parents and she forgave him that. Forgiveness felt like a knife to the heart. He wasn’t worthy of it. Would she forgive him for what had happened with the brothers? Did she really blame him for them leaving? As it was, whenever she did see him, there was a hard edge of resentment in her eyes but he wasn’t sure if that was for him or the Elrics.

This trip, however, he had to make his presence known. Leaning on a cane, Roy limped his way to the yellow house. Winry spotted him before he made it all the way up to the door. She seemed older than she should be. Joy had left her face, maybe for good, leaving behind grim lines. Sometimes Roy wanted to go across the Gate he had helped destroy and kick Ed and Alphonse both for not taking her with them when they left. What they had done had been so very wrong. _Any more wrong than what you did to Riza?_ the little voice inside his head asked and Roy winced. 

“What did you do?” Winry’s eyes narrowed at him. “I swear, you’re as bad as Edward ever was. Come inside.”

“This was entirely not my fault,” Roy said, clumping his way to a patient room. 

“That’s what _he_ used to say, too,” Winry said and the tremble in her voice told Roy just how much she missed her friend.

Roy ignored the quaver, knowing nothing he could say would help. He flopped on the bed and toed off his shoe. “I’m blind on one side, you know,” he replied tartly. “I never saw the insurgent until he nearly shot me. Luckily Armstrong was there. But your automail got shot.” He pointed to the ruined ankle. 

When he had closed the Gate, things had gone in ways Roy hadn’t expected and the explosions had leveled a good deal, him included. Roy knew he was lucky to be alive. The shrapnel had torn into his ankle, setting him on fire. How ironic was that? Through the agony, he had worked his alchemy, saving his life. He had enough raw materials to do the job but no one had anticipated the explosion. Between shrapnel-torn bone – parts of tibia having been blown right through the balloon he had been in – and the flames, he lost his leg from the knee down. At the rate he was losing parts, there would be nothing left of him shortly. But Roy had gained something from the Gate’s destruction; he knew how Ed’s array-less alchemy worked, having been similarly altered himself.

Winry frowned at the damage. “It’ll take me the day to fix the damage. Want a replacement limb in the meanwhile?”

Roy shook his head. “Can you take the automail off at the inn? I’m on the first floor. I can get around with crutches.”

She gazed at him sourly. “You could stay here, you know.”

“I would hate to impose,” Roy said, knowing it was a very bad idea. “My car’s outside. I can give you a lift to the inn.”

Winry nodded and gathered her tools. Roy drove them in silence to the inn. When he settled himself on the bed she finally asked, “Why didn’t you just call me to meet you here?”

“I didn’t want to give you time to arm yourself.” Roy smirked and she thumped his thigh with her wrench. He watched her take off his leg. He didn’t mind the silver docking port. It took the place of the melted scar tissue the burns had left behind. Roy couldn’t bear them. Whenever he had seen his burn scars before his surgery, all he could think of was Ishbal. Roy kept waking in the night, screaming and soaked in sweat and there was no one there to comfort him. Maes was dead and he had driven Riza away.

“Have you even talked to her about you getting automail?” Winry asked so softly he barely heard it. There was only ever one ‘her’ they talked about. Roy knew Winry kept in touch with Riza and how the older woman liked Winry as a sister.

He couldn’t look at her. “No…but I’m sure she knows.” 

Winry glared up at him. “You and Ed, so much alike. Hiding your feelings, cutting us out. Hell, you even recovered from your surgery and got on your feet in a year like him. And for what? So you can wall yourself up with your alchemy?”

Roy’s jaw clenched. “If she wanted to see me, she knew where I was.” It had hurt more than he could say that Riza never came when he was in the hospital. He had been too proud, too stupid, to call her and say he needed her. Roy had just simply expected Riza to be there for him like always but she never came. The only women that meant anything to him to darken his hospital door was Gracia checking on an old friend and a girl who should have wanted to see his pain but did nothing but tell him she would make him walk again. The last he heard from Riza was her calling him a liar as he sailed up in that damnable balloon. She had been there for his crash. Maybe she had stayed around long enough to learn he would live, but even at that, he couldn’t say. “And I’m not walled away with my alchemy. They reinstated my rank.”

“No, they promoted you to general and made you an ambassador to Ishbal, probably with hopes someone there will assassinate you for revenge,” Winry countered and Roy sighed. This was an old argument.

“You’re very right about that.” Roy rubbed at his eye patch. “It keeps me very busy.”

“I’ve heard it all before,” Winry sounded so bitter. He wished he could do something more for her. “It’s a poor excuse.”

“I know. I’m not a good man, I know that, too, Winry,” Roy said and this time she stood up and slapped his face. Roy’s remaining eye popped open wide. 

“You’re better than most of the ones you’re working for. You mean well,” she said, almost smiling. “Except for what you did to her. She’s stationed back out East, did you even know that?” Winry turned away and picked up his detached limb. “I’ll have it ready tomorrow. I’ll call.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled, trying not to think too hard on what she had said. “Winry, they’re hosting an Ishbalan Rain Festival in Central in a few weeks, all part of our new ‘let’s forget about the past and be friends’ program.” Roy made a face. “You should come, maybe bring your grandmother….unless you think it would bring up bad memories.”

“I think I can handle it,” she said. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?” 

Roy winced and she left without another word. Why did everything have to hurt so much? Roy lay back on the bed and picked up his alchemy text. It held no interest for him, however. His eye strayed to the phone. He knew he should call her but too much time had gone past, two years. Did Riza have another lover? He didn’t have the nerve to find out. Did she hate him? He deserved it. He wanted her back but had no idea how to even begin to ask for something he had no right to.

That night he dreamt of answering the phone, expecting it to be Riza only it had been Maes yelling at him. Roy couldn’t remember the words but he knew the context. If his friend were alive, Hughes would be so disappointed in him.

X X X

“Boss, you have to get this stuff done,” Havoc said, a cigarette riding precariously on his lip. The young man still missed having Hawkeye around. None of them had ever managed to motivate Mustang like she could.

Roy looked away from his window, tapping his metal toe in his boot. He couldn’t help it. Ever since he got the automail under his control, he caught himself always tapping his toe. “Where’s my glove?”

“You can’t set the paperwork on fire and you know it. If you just signed them when you get them, it wouldn’t stack up like this,” Havoc said and both men froze, hearing one of Hawkeye’s favorite quotes echoing around in the room.

Roy almost looked around, expecting to see Hayate bound into the room. Instead, he grabbed a pen and started signing.

“General Grumman called to say clear your schedule, Boss, and he’ll be here in the afternoon to see you.”

“Grumman?” Roy’s mouth tightened. As much as he owed the man, he didn’t want to see him since the general made him remember Riza. “Did you tell him I was booked solid?”

“I already lie repeatedly _for_ one general, Boss. Don’t make me lie _to_ another one.” Havoc laughed.

Roy sighed. “Fine.” When Havoc left, he started signing the paperwork. How could there be even more of it now than when he was a colonel? Sometimes he was ready to just resign and go do something with his life other than this. He was still signing when he heard a knock at the door. “Come in, General,” Roy said, then glanced up.

Feeling the color drain out of his face, Roy was glad he hadn’t stood up to greet the general. Instead of the old man, Riza stood in the doorway, her face a blank mask. She held out a large envelop to him. “General Grumman sends his regrets. He got called into a meeting and sent me with these.” There was no feeling in her voice, no sign he wasn’t just some random general she had never met before. 

Roy slowly got to his feet, holding out his hand. “Thank you. Do you know what the meeting was about?” he asked, trying to sound as neutral as she did. Both of them knew there was no meeting. This was just Grumman pushing them together. 

“The parliament asked General Grumman to send a representative to assist the ambassador to Ishbal in his duties for the upcoming festival.” Finally her mask cracked and irritation shone through. “He chose me.”

Roy couldn’t move. No, worse, he might be moving, trembling. How could Grumman do this to him? It was an unfair surprise. Judging by Riza’s eyes she felt the same way. “I see. I’m not sure yet what I’ll be doing for the festival.”

“You’ll find the itinerary in the envelope,” she replied. 

Roy looked at it then back at her. Her brown eyes captured his gaze for a moment, then Riza snapped around, and headed back for the door, her duty discharged. “Riza,” he said stridently and she stopped, looking back at him. He couldn’t find his tongue. Where was the suave player? He couldn’t even find enough salvia to keep his mouth from feeling like sand, let alone speak. Why didn’t he just say he was sorry? Or I missed you? Or you were right, I was a liar and I didn’t take you on the balloon because I thought I was going to die? All he could managed was a dry, ‘thank you.’

Her expression said, ‘you bothered me for that?’ Riza hesitated as if expecting more from him. When nothing more came, she went on her way. Roy went over and threw the lock without a word of explanation for his men. Putting his back to the door, Roy slid down it, puddling into a pool of self-pity and misery, content to spend the rest of the day wading there.

X X X

Roy wanted a cigarette, to feel the warmth of it between his fingers, to taste the smoke. Part of him knew it would relax him but only until the taste of smoke brought back flashbacks of Ishbal. Honestly, sometimes it was brutal being around Havoc. Instead, he settled for his whiskey. The smoky amber liquid passed over his tongue. Sitting here in the bar, Roy could reimagine the day the way it should have been. He would have told Riza all the things he needed to, like how much he missed her, how wrong he had been and done whatever it took to get her back. In his mind’s eye, he and Riza were dancing to this waltz, he could never remember the name of it but it was one of his favorite pieces. It felt as if it were made for him and her to dance to, not that they had ever danced. He imagined they never would now.

“I was hoping that you weren’t here.”

Roy twisted on the bar stool at the familiar tone. Why did she have to come here? “Then why did you look for me here?” _Idiot, why is that the first thing out of your mouth?_

Riza sat down next to him. “I don’t really know.”

When nothing more was forthcoming, Roy took another swig of whiskey then set it on the lip of the bar for another fill up. When he could stand the silence no longer, he said, “I have to wear a red robe and flowers for the festival. The parliament is arguing over which florist to use but only the richest Ishbalans ever had real flowers. I want to wear ones made of cloth scraps, like the common folk would.” Roy snorted. “Flowers in my hair, what would Maes have made of that?”

“He would have taken a lot of pictures and laughed heartily,” Riza replied without hesitation. She hazarded a glance at him. “Red robe? Won’t that make you stand out?”

Roy nodded. “I have no personal attaché at the moment. I’m not allowed anyone from the military. It makes the Ishbalans nervous. I’m permitted to have a non-military bodyguard but I wouldn’t know who to use.” Roy licked his lips. “If one of the Ishbalans chooses to kill me, I could hardly say I blame him.”

“I could save them the trouble,” she growled.

Roy flinched, snatching up his refilled glass. “Is that what you came here to tell me?” He wouldn’t hide his hurt. Let her see it. It was her due. If she came here for blood, then he would bleed. 

“I already said I didn’t know why I came,” she replied, her eyes flicking to his glass. “Do you do this every night?”

Roy shook his head. “Not as much as you’d think.” He killed the glass and set it out for more. Tonight was special in a way that he wanted to guarantee he wouldn’t remember it. “You have to wear flowers, too, Riza, since you’ve been assigned as my partner. Do you want me to get you some of the cloth ones.”

“I’ll handle it myself.” Riza stared at the bottles of booze lining the wall behind the bar. 

He floundered for something to say and the emotional stuff he needed to say still wouldn’t come. “How’s Hayate?”

Her eyes turned to flint. “Do you care, Roy?”

His fingers gripped the slick varnished edge of the bar. “That’s not fair, Riza. I’ve always cared.”

“That’s why you went to the Briggs Mountains then, without anyone?” Her voice was as cold as night patrols there.

Roy looked away. “I did it because…” He shook his head. “I guess no one would understand.”

Riza made an unhappy sound. “I don’t know why I’m here. I should just go.”

“Riza, wait,” Roy said. _Now, idiot, now’s the time to tell her everything._ “Where are you staying?”

“At the Sleeptite. I need to get back. David will be wondering where I am,” she said.

Roy’s solitary eye widened and his tongue stumbled over the word, “David.”

“David Calvert,” she said casually, as if Roy had never meant anything to her. If she cared that she was killing him, it didn’t show. “He’s a history teacher out East. He brought his class with him to see the festivities here since it’s probably still not safe enough to take a bunch of school kids to Ishbal for the real Rain Festival.”

She was seeing someone. Roy couldn’t even swallow his whiskey down past the constriction in his throat. What was he expecting? That she would wait forever for him? Fool. “Oh. Yes, I can’t argue that. If there’s something special those kids would like to see, let me know. I’ll see if I can arrange it,” he said, dying inside. 

She waved him off. “You don’t have to go through any trouble.”

“It’s no trouble. I’m happy to help,” he said and she gave him a look of disbelief. Roy tried to put on a brave face. “I mean that. It’s good that you have someone, Riza. It’s better than hanging on to a man whose dreams as all ash,” he added in a whisper.

Her eyes narrowed. “Are you drunk?” 

“A little,” he replied honestly. 

“Roy.”

He glanced over his shoulder at the new voice interrupting them. He swallowed a curse as a young woman, her darkly tanned skin complimented by her brilliantly colored dress, glided up to him. Her blonde hair had been piled on top of her head in an intricate knot and her red eyes were highlighted by her make up to insure everyone noticed them. “Mara, I didn’t expect you tonight.”

She slid her arm around his shoulders and gave Riza a cold, calculating look. “So I see.”

Roy shook his head. “This is Captain Riza Hawkeye. She and I will be working together on the festival.”

Mara’s painted lips pursed. “I see. Not too closely, I’m sure, General.” She tapped his cheek. “You’re taking me as your escort.”

“That’s not really wise, Mara. You know your father wouldn’t like that. The whole point is to make peace with your people, not irritate them further,” Roy said, giving her and Riza uneasy looks. Riza’s face did not remain passive as he hoped. She looked furious.

Mara pouted. “I know but your way is no fun.”

“He’s military, fun usually isn’t an option,” Riza said dryly and Roy shot her a hurt look.

“I was coming to see if you were going to go home early tonight,” Mara said, only bothering putting on her bedroom eyes for Riza’s sake, he had no doubt. “But I can see you’re not.”

He shook his head. Why was fate doing this to him? “No. I’m going to be busy working on the festival all night.”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” Mara glared but turned on her heel. “And we will be going to the festival, Roy.”

Roy watched Mara leave then sighed.

“A little young for you, isn’t she?” Riza asked cuttingly.

He curled his lip at her. “She’s in her late twenties besides, it’s not what you think.”

She arched her eyebrows. “Oh really?”

“Given who I am and what I did in Ishbal, I’m the perfect choice to embarrass her father, one of the more powerful priests to rise to the top after the clans have begun to regroup,” Roy replied. “She thinks I’m her pawn.”

“Then why do you do this to yourself?”

Roy slipped a hand under his eye patch and peeled it off, revealing the scars. He turned to face Riza fully, knowing just how unfair he was being to both women. “How many women do you think want to see this in bed?”

Riza glanced away then swung off the stool. “I should get back to the hotel.”

He tugged the patch back on. “Yeah, you should.” This time he didn’t watch her as she went. He just had the bartender pour him another round.

 

X X X

“You look exhausted,” David observed as Riza entered the hotel room. He went over and put his arms around her. “And you smell like cigarettes.”

Riza sighed. She hadn’t really wanted David to come on this trip, even before she knew Roy and she had to work together on the festival. It was embarrassing to have to arrange for accommodations in the private sector instead of taking the visiting officers’ quarters since everyone knew why she would do such a thing. “One of General Mustang’s men, Havoc, smokes like he might never see another cigarette.”

“Havoc, I think you’ve mentioned him. He’s the one with no luck in woman, right?”

Squirming out of his arms, Riza flushed. “Yes, but keep that to yourself. You didn’t have to wait up for me, David.”

He smiled and sat on the bed. “I was up checking with the parents and the kids. There’s a lot to do yet.”

Riza nodded. “I’m taking a quick shower.” She hoped he’d take the hint and be asleep by the time she got out. She really wished she had done a better job of discouraging him from coming but once he got it into his head the kids would love this; there was no stopping the man. She just didn’t have the energy for dealing with David after fighting with Roy. Why the hell had she gone to the bar? She thought she had wanted to apologize but maybe deep down she wanted to see him hurt as much as she had when he demoted himself and left her. Well, if that was it, she got what she had went for. 

When she got back out of the shower, David was still up looking at a book. “General Mustang offered to help if there was anything special you wanted for the kids.” Riza sat on the bed wondering why she said that. She didn’t want Roy and David interacting but she didn’t want to be petty either. Besides, if Roy wanted to make his life miserable then let him. 

“Did he? That’s wonderful,” David said, turning out the light and coming to bed. Riza got up and got under the covers. He joined her. “Mustang? Isn’t he the one who murdered the Fuhrer?”

“He didn’t murder him,” Riza protested a little more hotly than she meant to. She felt her face flush. “King Bradley had gone insane and was trying to destroy our country. He killed his own son before Mustang could stop him,” she added, going with the party line. No one wanted to admit their leader had been a homunculus. 

David rolled onto his side, looking at her. “I heard Mustang wanted to be Fuhrer himself.”

“Well, he would have liked that but now we have an elected ruler. Maybe he’ll try for that one day. Right now, he’s one of the ambassadors to Ishbal,” she said, keeping her ‘if he doesn’t get killed doing that first,’ to herself.

“Mustang, isn’t he the Flame Alchemist? Wasn’t he one of the alchemists that brought Ishbal low in the first place?” David asked, a hint of animosity in his tone. He was too gentle, Riza thought. He couldn’t understand war and yet he taught history, which was composed of them. “I remember the war news reels at the movies back then.”

“You have no idea. They didn’t release what the alchemists really did,” Riza said, shuddering. She remembered all too well watching Roy back then. With that red stone ring on his finger, he was like a furious god.

“How do you know?” David ran a hand over her hair. 

“I was there in Ishbal.” Riza shut her eyes. “I was there when he killed the Fuhrer as well. I was supposed to protect him and I ended up blinding him in one eye.” 

David’s lips made an ‘O.’ “I had no idea.”

Riza shrugged, trying to downplay it. “I don’t really like talking about it.”

“I understand.” David shot her a sympathetic look. “Oh, well, if he offered his help, he probably doesn’t bear a grudge.”

She looked at David. Riza wanted to believe that but she didn’t. She had seen Roy’s ruined face in the bar. It was probably why he had left her behind, twice. He didn’t want to be with the person who had hurt him so badly. Deep down she knew in those days in the hospital, he seemed forgiving but then he was gone. She had never understood it. No, that was a lie, too. She had seen his pain. What she didn’t understand was why he cut her out, why he didn’t let her help him. “I guess not. David, I’m very tired and I have an early day.”

David kissed her forehead. “Of course. Get some sleep.” He wrapped an arm around her.

Riza closed her eyes, resting against him. She should count herself lucky to have found him. He was a gentle man, even when it came to making love. Still, mostly when she was with him, all she could remember was how fiery Mustang had been in bed. She missed that but what good came of making comparisons? She just wished she knew how it had all gone so wrong and how she ended up so bitter. Riza had some inklings, offered by Winry. She kept in touch with the poor girl. Winry’s theory was Roy, much like Ed, wanted to protect them but that equated to cutting them out completely so the bad stuff couldn’t touch them, completely oblivious to the hurt it caused. Why didn’t she just tell Roy that? Why didn’t she ask, ‘why did you hurt me like this?’ instead of making sure she hurt him back? Having no answers, she tried to find sleep.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

_Guilt is the very nerve of sorrow – Horace Bushnell_

 

“I feel odd.” Roy tugged on the red robe, sliding it around on his slight shoulder. “Do I have this right?”

Aris, the younger of the two priests assigned to the festival, a man about Roy’s age, inspected it. “You have it on right. The robe is just less confining than what you’re used to.”

“I do feel rather exposed,” Roy admitted, walking around the room. A knock on the door saved him from his discomfort. He was surprised when a rather red-faced Riza came in.

“Sorry I’m late, General Mustang,” she said, her eyes widening at the look of him in tradition Ishbalan garb. “General Grumman kept me overly long.”

“I didn’t even know to expect you until tomorrow, so no harm,” Roy replied, hoping he didn’t look as hellaciously hung over as he felt; as if he could ever fool Riza “Captain Hawkeye, these two gentleman are the priests who’ve been helping coordinate the festival here in Central, Aris,” he gestured to the younger man and then to one old enough to be all their grandfathers, and who was actually Mara’s grandfather. “Uzziel. Aris is the Ishbalan liaison I work with daily.”

“Pleased to meet you. Sorry I’m late,” Riza repeated.

“Oh, no worries, young lady,” Uzziel said, fussing vainly with his long white hair, primping for her.

“We’re just trying to get the general properly dressed.” Aris cast a glance at Roy looking unsure of himself. “You said you wanted these.” He picked up a wreath of flowers so colorful that it took a second glance to realize they were made of cloth. 

“This is not the headpiece of a rich man,” Uzziel added, his red eyes narrowing. Roy knew the man didn’t particularly like him and was only marginally less resentful than her father that Mara chose him.

“I’m not a rich man,” Roy countered, looking in the mirror as he settled the wreath on his head. He wrinkled his nose. Hell, if Maes and Ed could only see him now, they’d never stop laughing. 

“I thought you were a State Alchemist,” Uzziel said, a hint of bitterness in his tone.

Roy faced him. “I am. A good deal of my money goes to the New Beginnings Orphanage in the East.”

“The one that took in a lot of Ishbalan children after the war?” Aris asked, his lips pressing thin.

Roy took off the wreath. “Never think what I was made to do there has ever sat well with me. I’ve done what little I could to help. I guess some might say it’s just something to ease a guilty conscious or appease my own hubris but I really did just want to help.”

The two priests looked at him. Finally, Aris cleared his throat. “It’s not a bad use of your money.” He looked over at Riza. “If you’ll be with the general, we should see if we can find a woman’s outfit for you quickly.”

“Oh, I don’t have to be in costume, if it’s a problem. General Grumman and the others haven’t been very clear on my duties,” Riza said, her eyes cutting to Roy’s robes and assessing quickly if her tattoo would be exposed.

“They were to me. You’re supposed to help me in all my activities for the three days. Sorry, though you should still have plenty of free time to do what you want,” Roy said coolly, hoping he was as chilly as she had been to him. He turned back to the priests. “I was going to tell you about this change in plans as soon as I got my robe on. If you can’t find something for her to wear, would a simple dress do?”

Aris nodded. “We’ll do what we can. As for you, those military boots will never do. We got you sandals. The young man with glasses was very helpful when it came to your boot size.”

Roy reminded himself to kick Fuery later, preferably with the metal foot. He managed a smile. “Sandals?”

“You have to have proper sandals,” Uzziel assured him, taking some out of the box. The old man seemed to sense Roy’s discomfort and was amused by it.

Roy caught Riza’s smirk. He sighed and toed off his boots. Slipping the sandals on, he looked down at the things. At least now Winry’s automail would get a fancy showing off to a huge crowd. He fanned his metal toes. “Now do I pass inspection?”

“You’ve lost a limb,” Uzziel said in surprise. “In the war?”

Roy shook his head. “Not quite two years ago. Explosion and fire, that’s irony for you.”

Riza blinked at him then glanced down at his reflective foot. “That’s quite a shine you have there on that automail.”

Roy scowled at her. “I like to keep it in good shape. Winry hits if I don’t.” He put the wreath back on his head for a final inspection. He turned to the mirror Havoc had found somewhere and put in the office for the occasion.

“You look fine,” Aris informed him. “You can put your uniform back on if you’d like. If you’ll excuse Uzziel and I for a moment, we’ll go see if we can find a robe for the captain.”

“Of course,” Roy said and went back to inspecting his reflection in the mirror. He caught sight of Riza’s amused look. “What is it, Hawkeye?”

“You’ve always been such a peacock. I’m not surprised that you could blind people with the gleam off your automail.”

He rounded on her, his mouth working but no words coming to him. Finally he blurted out, “I’m not a peacock!”

Riza couldn’t hide her snort of disbelief. “In those bright colors, no one will miss you.” Something in her eyes softened. “I don’t think I’ve seen you in red since those first weeks when you came to my father’s home to become his student.”

Roy nodded, remembering. “My grandfather dressed me in Xingese silks. He never did adapt to this country’s clothing style. I’d forgotten that, they were red, weren’t they?”

A hint of a smile kissed her lips. “Like flame.”

Roy had always liked red until Ishbal, until all the blood and fire. The military had ruined that color for him; blue, too. Maybe if he resigned, he’d dress himself in green and pretend he had something to do with new life, like a budding leaf. “I feel funny dressed like this.” He gestured at his silver foot, the sandal thong wedged between perfectly made toes. “Now I can see why Ed always wore that glove. It feels weird having people look at it and I know that’s stupid. It’s not like they don’t have to look at the patch on my face. What’s the difference?”

“None,” she replied, glancing at his foot. “Winry did a good job on that foot. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Roy looked at her in surprise. “I suppose not.”

“If you meant what you said last night, I’m sure David’s kids would like to help with the festival,” Riza said and he could see in her eyes she almost hadn’t said that.

He only vaguely remembered who David was and what he had offered last night so as much as he didn’t want to, Roy nodded. “I’m sure something can be arranged. I’m going to go put on my uniform.” He picked it up and headed for the supply room he was using as a change room. 

“Roy, since you asked, Hayate’s fine. He’s outside with Fuery right now,” Riza blurted out and Roy could have sworn he saw in her eyes the same conflicted emotions he felt.

He managed an honest smile. “Thanks. I’ll go see him, if you don’t mind.”

“If you have time, I’m sure he’d like that,” Riza said, her emotions shoved back behind her mask.

Roy let it go at that, locking himself in the supply room. He leaned on the carbon paper stash, telling himself men didn’t cry. Then why the hell did he feel like he wanted to?

X X X

“Boss, you look…” Havoc started, a wide grin on his face, eyeing Roy in his red robe, sandals and flowers, standing next to the fountain in the center of town.

Roy stabbed a finger at him. “Don’t you dare say it!”

“Anything you say, Boss.” Havoc turned to Breda, Falman and Fuery, all four of them obviously struggling not to laugh.

Roy sighed. The opening festivities of the Rain festival was a success. Well, there weren’t too many red eyes in the crowd – though he saw Mara hovering on the periphery of his vision – throngs of Amestrians had turned out for the street food, music and games and surely out of curiosity about it all. Great, nothing like a huge crowd to see him dressed up like some gaudy bird.

“Uncle Roy!”

Roy turned to see Elicia waving at him, slipping her mother’s grip to do so. She retained her death grip on Winry’s hand. The two women smiled at him as Roy stooped to hug Elicia. “It’s nice to see three such lovely ladies,” he said.

“Still a shameless flatterer, Roy.” Gracia gave him a soft look.

“We never see you any more, Uncle Roy,” Elicia said, hugging his waist tight. 

He ruffled her hair. “I know but I’m back in Central now. Your mom and I can talk about maybe me taking you to the park or something.”

“I’m sure we could,” Gracia said as Elicia’s eyes lit up.

“Well, Roy, I can see you’re taking care of my automail.” Winry grinned, nodding to the gleaming metal. “I think I might need sunglasses to look at you.”

Roy scowled, wiggling his silver toes. “You keep telling me to keep the stuff in shape and then everyone accuses me of being vain when I do.”

“That’s because you don’t just oil it, you polish it until you can see your reflection,” Riza’s voice carried over the crowd.

Roy turned to see her in her red robes with a veil weighted with sparkling bits of metal and stone over her hair which she had let loose. A wreath of flowers kept the veil in place. Hell, she was so beautiful. It took him several moments to even notice the tall, blonde, blue-eyed man behind her and all the kids behind him. David…so this was what she wanted. A man that was everything Roy wasn’t. Roy couldn’t help the jealousy and he felt the tension mounting as Winry and Gracia both looked at Hawkeye. Somewhere out of the corner of his eye, Roy could see his men regarding them curiously. It was up to him to say something to ease the tension. “I see I’m going to be a target all day.”

“Let’s hope not literally,” Riza said, a grim expression on her face. Roy couldn’t argue that. “Hello Winry, Gracia. Hi Elicia.”

“Hello Riza,” Gracia said, her eyes on David. Winry was less curious as she said her hellos. Roy wondered if Winry already knew about David. 

“This is David Calvert,” Riza said, sweeping a hand to the tall man.

“Yes, Captain Hawkeye asked if I could arrange a little something for your class,” Roy said coolly as he pointed to the bleachers set up around the fountain. “We have seats saved for you. Gracia, Winry, you guys can join them later if Mr. Calvert doesn’t mind. I’m sure Elicia would love that. I saved you three seats, there.” Roy pointed. “We were going to use Slate Run Lake for the ceremony but it was too far outside of the center of town. Aris and Uzziel said since the fountain is fed from a natural aquifer, it will do for the ceremony.”

“Thank you. We appreciate it,” David said, in a bluff mellow voice. That and his looks, he reminded Roy of a less robust Armstrong. David looked at Elicia who still clung to Roy’s robe. “She’s a lovely girl. Is she yours?”

Roy flinched, then rested a hand on Elicia’s head. “She’s my niece. Her father was my best friend.”

“Daddy died,” Elicia added solemnly. 

David flushed. “I’m sorry.”

Roy waved him off. “You all had better get to your seats. Hawkeye, Aris and Uzziel want a last minute rehearsal with us.” He nodded to the two priests who were busy talking to Mara. Neither of them seemed happy to see her. Winry put a hand on his arm and he met her eyes, blue eyes filled with sadness and pity. He tried to smile, failing and watched her join Gracia and Elicia. Vaguely, he was aware of Riza talking to him and he turned to her, hoping to fake his way through it.

“Is there something wrong, sir?”

He knew better than to lie to Riza so he found something else he was sad about that didn’t involve his feelings for her. “I feel sorry for Winry, sometimes. And guilty that I haven’t done more to find Ed or that I ever sent him to Lior in the first damn place.” Roy sighed. 

“You didn’t make them go back across without her,” Riza pointed out gently.

“No, that bit of idiocy was all theirs.” Roy fussed with the cloth flowers on his head. “They shouldn’t have left her like that. Men can be fools, especially when they think they’re sacrificing themselves for what’s right.” Whether he was talking about the Elrics or himself, Roy let Riza draw her own conclusions. From the look in her brown eyes, he figured she lumped him in with the boys.

“I think Aris and Uzziel are ready for us,” she said and he was happy for the distraction.

He nodded and they got their last minute instructions from the two priests. Mara settled herself somewhere close to the proceedings in the ring of honor reserved for the few Ishbalans now living in Central. Roy and Riza followed the priests and kicked off their sandals, stepping into the fountain. He could feel small coins underfoot. Glancing up into the bleachers, he could see Winry and Gracia – in better seats than he had reserved for blondie and his school kids – smiling at him. 

Roy watched as the new president addressed the crowd. He wondered if Armstrong was proud of his big sister for winning the role or if he was just as nervous as Roy was. Olivia was frightening as far as Roy was concerned. He only paid half an ear to what she was saying, some pat oratorical wizardry to make the crowd happy. At least she kept it short, introducing Aris, Uzziel, Riza and himself. Uzziel seemed to know how to work a crowd as well, as the old man told the mostly Amesterian bystanders of the pact the Ishbalans had with their God and how this festival was a thank you for the brief rains in the desert. Roy had spent more time than he cared to in that desert and he knew the rainfall there. If that was god’s grace, Roy didn’t want to see god’s anger.

He and Riza kept pace with the exaggerated, almost dance-like movements they had been taught for this part of the ceremony. His tongue stumbled over the ancient prayers in a different language. He wondered if there were alchemic tomes in Ishbalan. True, they seemed to have a dim view of it but Scar proved they were more than capable of alchemy. Should he be letting his curiosity get the better of him at this time?

The opening prayers done, Olivia invited the crowd to partake of the food, games and music. Roy climbed out the fountain, giving Riza his hand by rote, to help her out. She took it before she knew what she was doing. They jerked apart. “They want us in costume for the prayers tonight. I guess we could change into street clothes in the mean time,” he said, slipping his sandals back on. “I feel strange in this.”

Riza just nodded, her eyes cast towards the bleachers and the tall blond man who was making his way free. 

Roy moved in so close to Riza he swore he could almost taste her on his lips, then he whispered, “I went to the mountains because I had gone as cold as they were.” He swallowed hard, knowing he was an ass for telling her this in public with her boyfriend nearby. “I left because you deserved much better than me.”

Riza gaped, her fists balling. Roy knew he was seconds from being flattened in public but he wasn’t sure why. He had told the truth. She did deserve better than him. He braced himself then felt small fingers closing over his. He looked down at Elicia who had outdistanced her mother. He scooped her up and turned his back on Riza just as her new lover came over to her.

“What are we going to do first, little one?” he asked the seven year old in a shaky tone, holding her tight. Roy kept his eyes trained on Elicia because he couldn’t hold onto his control if he looked at Riza.

“Shaved ice!” she declared. “I wanna berry one.”

“Anything for you, sweetie,” he said, his heart breaking.

“Roy?” Winry looked between him and Riza who had her back to him now as she concentrated on David. 

Roy just gave Winry a look that closed all avenues of conversation.

X X X

“Sometimes I’m an idiot, you know?” Roy took a swig out of the flask. He had enough whiskey with him that he could get pleasantly buzzed but not be hung over for the next day’s festivities. He had traded his robes for black slacks and a ridiculously oversized shirt. Gracia had given it to him when she packed up Maes’ closet. God, Maes had no taste. “I don’t know what the hell I did wrong. I just know I did it.” He could feel the press of the rock against his back as he leaned against the head stone. “See, I really did need you to keep me out of trouble, buddy. I don’t really have anyone left.”

“You still come out here.”

Roy barely kept a girly scream from escaping. He glanced around frantically, trying to find the source of the voice. “Damn it, Hawkeye, you scared the hell out of me.”

“You’re now a general and the ambassador to Ishbal. You’re partly in charge of a festival that has more death threats than you have teeth. Do you think it wise to sit out here in the open, getting drunk?” Even in the gloom, Roy could see her sour look.

“Well, Maes has a little bit of trouble coming to the office to talk,” Roy replied, trying not to remember the time he had picked up the phone and could have sworn Maes was on the other end talking to him.

“God, you’re an ass,” she said, looming over him.

He slugged back some whiskey. “You hunted me down all night, climbed over a cemetery wall to tell me that? It’s not news, Hawkeye.”

“We both know that,” she replied hotly. “How dare you say something like you said this afternoon and then just shut down on me? How do you think it makes me feel knowing that rather than talk things out, you decided you knew what was best and you ran off to some godforsaken outpost?”

“That you were hurt,” Roy replied quietly. “You think I don’t know that? I knew it would hurt but…I never was any good for you and I was even less worthy after the debacle with the Fuhrer. There’s nothing left of me, Riza. Why do you think I'm here, anyway?” Roy threw his arm out, indicating the cemetery in general, though he let his head thump back against Maes' stone in a sort of apology

Roy didn’t expect her hand to be so fast. It came in on his blind side, nearly knocking his patch off his face. “It wasn’t your choice alone, Roy. You left me behind when you needed me and all I could think of was, ‘if I hadn’t blinded him, he wouldn’t feel this way. All of this pain is my fault’,” she said, her lower lip trembling as she fought to keep her emotions checked.

He rubbed his cheek. “You saved my life, Riza. For all I know, it was that thing Archer had been turned into that blinded me. We don’t know it was your bullet.”

“No, I know it. I know what my gun can do…I nearly killed you,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him.

“I didn’t die and I didn’t blame you. You knew that, Riza. I told you so even while I was still in the hospital,” Roy said strongly.

“And then you left me so how could I believe you?”

“I left you because I didn’t think I worth dragging you down with me. I didn’t take you on that balloon to close the Gate because I didn’t want you to end up here!” Roy punched the ground he sat on over Maes’ grave. “I already buried one of my best friends. I couldn’t live through burying another.”

Riza put a shaking hand over her mouth as she sank to the ground on top of the grave. “Roy…”

“I didn’t take you up in the balloon because I knew I was going to die and I couldn’t kill you,” he said, letting the tears fall. “I wanted you to be with me. I didn’t want to die alone but I couldn’t…I just couldn’t, Riza. I couldn’t let you die, too.”

Riza didn’t know what to say. There was nothing she could say to that. She fished her handkerchief out of her pocket then dabbed at his face with the lacy thing. “Roy…”

“And then you weren’t there. I survived. I was broken and you weren’t there. You never came to see me,” he said, his voice broken. “I needed you and you were gone and it was my fault for driving you off. I knew that it was my fault that I was alone. I kept picking up the phone. I wanted to call you and tell you I was sorry. But…you would have thought I only called because I needed you. My pride wouldn’t let me call.”

She wiped her own face then tucked the handkerchief into his hand. “And mine wouldn’t let me come back to you. I thought you didn’t want me. You _lied_ to me. I didn’t want….I don’t even know now what I wanted. It made sense at the time. You didn’t need me so I wasn’t going to be there begging for you to take me back.”

“I needed you,” Roy rasped out. “It hurt so much and I was frightened and there was no one there but a young girl who had no reason at all to help me. I’ve never understood why Winry has been as kind as she has to me. Why did she care when I managed to drive away most everyone else?” Roy held out his hand.

Riza leaned into his touch. Roy’s arms snaked around her, pulling her tight to his body. He buried his face against the crook of her neck and she felt his tears hot against her flesh. The only thing holding him up was Maes’ headstone. Riza stroked Roy’s hair. Roy lifted his head, looking at her. She captured his chin, drawing him in for what she meant to be a comforting kiss. It quickly turned into an outpouring of need and want. She pressed him back against the stone, trying to devour him. Riza finally broke away. “What am I doing? I haven’t forgiven you.”

Roy’s wet eyes met her gaze. “I missed you so much, Riza. I’m so sorry for what I did. I’ve been sorry every day for years now.” His hand cupped the small of her back. “I can’t do anything but say I’m sorry.”

“I’ve been so angry for so long,” she whispered. “I’m not sure I know how to not be angry.” Roy let his hand fall and he fumbled for his flask. Riza put her hand over his. “You’ve had enough, Roy. You can’t just sit in a cemetery all night crying and getting drunk.”

“I’m neither,” he protested, his voice gravelly. She just gave him a look. “What do you want of me, Riza? All I want to do right now is to hold you and this is all the wrong place…even if Maes probably wouldn’t mind. He’d kick my ass if he knew how things turned out.”

Riza snorted, standing up. She held out a hand to him. “You’re right about that.”

Roy let her help him up. “Thanks,” he mumbled, letting her go even though he didn’t want to.

“I’ll walk you back home,” Riza said.

“Don’t you have a lover to get back to?” he said then wanted to kick himself. Why was he such an ass? “And Hayate,” he added as if that was going to help.

Riza sighed. She wanted to hit him, he could see it, but instead said, “You’re drunk, Roy. Let’s get you home.”

“I’m not drunk,” Roy said. “I only had a little flask. There’s not enough in there to make me drunk. Alcohol is not my problem. My problem is I’m stupid and my mouth needs a filter.”

She shook her head. “You said it.”

He held up his hands. “What I should have said is, I have no right to ask you to stay with me. You have someone else and if he makes you happy, then…I’m not glad, of course, because it makes me sad, but that’s all I ever wanted if for you to be contented and loved.” Roy shook his head. “It’s still coming out all wrong.”

Riza put a hand on his arm. “I think I can figure out what you’re saying, Roy and I do have that, contentment.”

That admission hurt like fire on flesh but Roy pressed on, “That I’m sorry I was such a fool. That I should have known better but still…I just wanted you to be safe even though I’ve always known what you wanted was to protect me and that I liked that. I need you.”

Riza smiled in the darkness, taking his hand. “There, that was the right thing to say.”

Roy pulled her closer for a moment, resting his forehead against hers. “No matter what happens or has happened, know that I’ve always loved you, Riza.”

Riza made a soft noise but said nothing. She squeezed his hand then let go. She didn’t look at him as she finally said, “Let’s get you home, Roy.”

Roy walked towards the cemetery wall in the distance. “I have a new house. They didn’t think base housing was good for a brigadier general and ambassador. I have two new houses, actually, an ostentatious monster here and something more modest in Ishbal.”

“I can’t imagine you living in Ishbal again,” she said softly.

“I don’t sleep much,” he admitted, shuddering, “The dreams are awful.”

“You could have told them no,” Riza said as Roy boosted himself onto the wall. 

He held out a hand to her, helping her up. “No, I couldn’t. I have a debt to pay there…one that can’t be paid but I’ll try. My comfort isn’t of concern.”

Riza shook her head. “You’ve always had a sense of honor, Roy.”

“Isn’t that why you trusted me with your back?” he asked quietly.

Riza jumped down from the wall. “Yes.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want to talk about that now.”

Roy just let the silence enfold them. He didn’t know what else to say, had no idea how to prolong this rare admittance into her space after he had ejected himself for so long. He did the only thing he could, show her to his house.

X X X

Pointing to the brick and wood building, painted viciously red, with turrets that stabbed the sky, Roy said, “This is it.” He looked down the street. “It’s far from the hotel. Let me call you a cab. I don’t want you walking from here…come on in while I do that.”

“All right. You didn’t lie. I haven’t seen anything this big since I left Father’s house,” Riza said, keeping her ‘this place is in so much better shape’ to herself.

“I’m expected to entertain while I’m here. Granted, I haven’t done much of it.” Roy unlocked the door, the brass knob had an intricate flower in the center and more flowers ringing around it. “I’ve not been social. Well, there was more entertaining when I was flat on my back waiting to learn to walk. Gracia, Havoc and the rest of the men did wonders then.” Roy wrinkled his nose. Did that sound like he was blaming Riza for not being there to help? Why did his mouth not work right?

Riza looked at the black and white marble foyer tiles. “I’m glad there was someone here to help. I should have been.”

Roy shook his head. “After what I did, no, you shouldn’t. I’ll go call the cab.”

Riza threw the locks on the door and caught his hand. Didn’t she just tell him she was content with David? Part of her was. Part of her wanted something very different. She dragged Roy in roughly for a kiss.

Shooting her a stunned look, Roy stammered out “R-Riza, what are you doing?”

“Roy, just shut up.” She put a finger over his mouth. “You’ve barely gotten out two words since I got into town that have been the right ones. Talk now and I might change my mind.” Roy just gave her a bemused look but stayed silent. “Show me to your room or…” she looked around him to the intricately carved staircase that rose behind him and she pointed, “I’ll have to make do with that.”

Roy’s eye widened and he took her hand. Riza couldn’t tell what was in the scrollwork of the staircase, dogwoods, grape leaves, demonic faces, Roy hauled her up the stairs too fast to tell. He guided her down the hall, the carpet thick and spongy under her feet, telling her just how much the new State wanted their ambassador and his residence to be impressive to visitors. 

Riza’s jaw dropped seeing the bedroom. The huge carved wooden furniture reminded her of home but it was the hand painted silk wallpaper with the blue roses that stunned her. She pointed, giggling. She couldn’t help it. It was something her granny would have loved.

“I didn’t pick it,” he huffed. “You didn’t come up here to laugh at the décor.”

She eyed him sourly. “Roy, you’re talking again.”

“Then give my mouth something better to do.” Roy smirked.

Riza knew that smirk. She’d been seeing it since they were children in her father’s house. Mostly, like now, she just wanted to slap it off his face but a kiss would feel much better so she went with that. Mouths clashed, tongues twisting and probing. She could feel him, already hard, pressed against her. Riza didn’t know why she was here. She was still so very angry with him, so deeply hurt and feeling betrayed by just how much she wanted, no needed him. If she didn’t have him now, she thought she might die but if she did this, there was no going back for her. She wanted to do it anyway. 

After kicking off his shoes, Roy pulled her slowly toward the bed. His hand fumbled behind him until he managed to yank the comforter down. He left off kissing long enough to get her shirt off. Riza tugged his belt open and undid his zipper before toppling him back on the bed. Kneeling on the mattress, Riza pulled his pants off. She smiled seeing his readiness then her gaze flicked down. She had seen his metal foot, of course, when he had been dressed for the ceremonies but that seemed somehow different than seeing the gleaming metal as it ascended to just below his knee. She felt like an ass for teasing him about how polished he had it. It hit like a punch, just how much of him he had lost and she had refused to be there for him. She had left him with all that pain. Tears came in a sudden burst and Riza sagged down, her forehead resting against the metal limb.

“Riza.” Roy sat up, stroking her shoulders. “What is it, Riza?”

“I should have swallowed my pride. I should have been with you then.” Her fingers caressed skin and metal. 

Roy eased his leg out of her grasp, shifting on the bed so he could take her in his arms. “It’s all right,” he whispered. “I forgive you.” Riza couldn’t help crying even harder. Roy just held her tight and let her cry herself out. “I’m sorry I hurt you so much, Riza. I didn’t mean to. All I wanted to do was protect you. What you needed was protecting from me.”

Riza rested her cheek against his chest, feeling the silkiness of his shirt under her cheek. “We can’t change it.”

He caressed her shoulders, his fingers tripping over her bra straps. “We can only put it behind us, if we can. If you want me to call that cab for you now, I will.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“I never want you to go,” he replied quietly.

Riza smiled, wiping her face. “Finally found the right words,” she said, reaching for the handkerchief she still had in her pants.

“Good.”

Giving her a few moments to gather herself up, Roy let her take control of the night. 

X X X

She had missed this, the fire, the way he positively burned in bed. Clinging fast to Roy, her staccato moans sounding in his ear, Riza didn’t know how she lived without this. The way he felt above her, in her, these things she missed maybe even more than she should have. The first time for the night she had drank him down with the same fervor as someone lost in the desert at noon went for water, pinning him down to the bed, riding him until he was chanting her name in nigh supplication.

Feeling the building of the wonderful pressure behind the dam, Riza knew the breaking point was close. She pressed her mouth against the scar on Roy’s shoulder, a souvenir from the Fuhrer. She could taste the salt of his sweat. She didn’t even try to rein in her cries as she climaxed. He quickly followed her into that delicious free flight. She held him for a several long moments before letting him roll onto the mattress.

Roy looked at her, grinning like a kid. “That was like the first time all over again.”

Riza laughed. “No, that was much better. This time I had an idea what I was doing…and you weren’t pretending you had never done this before.” She rested her head against his sweaty chest, trailing a finger over his scar.

“I didn’t want you to think I was cheap and easy back then,” Roy admittedly sheepishly.

“Don’t worry. I already knew you had done it with the floozy in my class and you had been to the Academy. I just assumed you had a clue.”

“I also didn’t want you to think I wanted to be with you just because you showed me your back,” Roy said softly.

She reached down and took his hand. “I knew better than that…but I did worry about it. I couldn’t help it.”

Roy kissed her. “You’ve always meant more to me than that tattoo.”

Riza squeezed his hand. “I know but it’s good to hear, too.” 

“I’m not asking you to make a decision tonight, Riza. That would be very unfair, all thing considered but I want you back,” Roy said his voice so soft she barely heard him.

“If I come back, Roy, this is your last chance.” Riza felt a tremor run through her body. As if he thought she could leave him after tonight…Riza shuddered as reality kicked a pleasant fantasy aside. “If you push me away again, I won’t ever come back.”

He caressed her cheek. “I understand. All I ever wanted was you at my side and for our lives to finally make it to a point where we could actually be together as a married couple. I never realized, until recently, how much I envied Maes his marriage.”

Riza pushed up on one elbow, looking down at him. “Was that some sort of strange marriage proposal, Roy?”

He laughed. “No, even I know this isn’t the time.” Roy took her hand, dropping a kiss into her palm. “Would you marry me?”

Riza settled back down. “I’m still too mad at you for that. Ask me again when I’m not furious.”

Roy smiled. “I might even have a ring by then.”

“Knowing you, you’ll have a three piece band and have found a way to alchemize the clouds to read, ‘marry me, Riza’.” She ruffled his hair.

“There you go, giving me good ideas.”

She sat up and tried to remove the eye patch but Roy jerked his head back. “Roy, it’s all right.”

He shook his head, cupping his hand protectively over the patch. “You don’t need to look at it.”

“You don’t sleep in that patch,” she said, sensibly. “If I were to spend the night, I’d see it by default.”

“But you’re not staying. You have someone waiting for you,” he said practically.

Riza covered her eyes. She had tried to forget but that was hardly fair. David was a very good man and had made her happy. He deserved better than this. Riza shook her head; now she sounded like Roy. “I told him we had to stay last after the festival because of the threats.”

“That wasn’t a lie.”

“No, but it’s so late, David probably thinks the terrorists got me.”

Roy gestured to the phone on the bed stand – another sign of the wealth the State had plunged into his home – and got up. “Call him from here, let him know you’re okay. I’ll take a quick shower. I won’t use up all the hot water.” He smiled gently.

Riza felt her lips tremble. She knew it was costing Roy to be so nice about it. “Thank you, Roy.”

Riza made her call, reassuring David and apologize profusely for taking so long to let him know that she was all right. When Roy came back out of the bathroom, his eye patch was in his hand, but he had his eyelid closed over the empty socket. He set the patch on the night stand and sat back down on the bed. She smoothed a hand over his cheek, with its red ridge of scar tissue, carefully avoiding the empty socket. Riza leaned in and kissed the scarred cheek, feeling him trembling under her. She didn’t say anything simply because she didn’t know what to say.

“They need to do more surgery to reconstruct the socket if I want a glass eye.” He lay back on the bed with a shrug. “Towels are in the linen closet.”

“Thanks.” Riza escaped into the shower, turning it on hot. She let the water sluice over her, her tears mingling with it. She’d tell Roy she got soap in her eye if he asked and he’d know it was a lie. She kept her hair carefully out of the spray as much as she could since she couldn’t explain away freshly washed hair to David.

How had she let herself get into a mess like this? What had she been expecting? Mostly she had just wanted to be sure Roy wasn’t hurting himself when she had gone after him in the cemetery. She had seen the mess he had been the day after she saw him in the bar. She knew him intimately, knew his moods, which was why being abandoned had hurt so much. It was unlike him and she hadn’t known how to handle it.

Riza had most definitely not gone after him planning to fall into his bed. Even when she walked Roy back to his place to make sure he wasn’t too drunk to get there safely, she had every intention of going home. It was the house itself, big and echoing its loneliness, that broke her heart. Her resolved dissipated then and there. Now she would have to live with the guilt of falling back into bed with him. Worse, she still had to face going home to David, half afraid it would show on her face.

There was nothing to do for it now. Riza got herself back under control, got out of the shower, toweled off and redressed. When she went into the bed room, Roy drowsed on the bed, the sheets twisted around his feet. He looked so sweet. In spite of all the scars, he was beautiful to her. Maybe it was her imagination, maybe it was the afterglow of sex but Roy seemed nearly radiant. She went over, intending on stealing a kiss before she left but his eye opened and he smiled.

“It’s too late to call you a cab.” Roy roused himself into a sitting position. “and something tells me if I suggest calling Havoc you’ll…”

“Slap you simple, yes.” Riza narrowed her eyes at him.

“Just try not to rap my head off this head board too many times.” Roy patted the frighteningly carved wood. “It might kill me. I’ll walk you home.”

“I was the one walking you home, remember?”

“And I said I wasn’t drunk then. I’m less drunk now.” Roy got up and found his pants. “He won’t see me, Riza. I’ll stop a block away…and even if he did, he already knows you were with us hunting terrorists.”

“Yes, we did ever so well doing that,” she snorted.

Roy grinned, tugging on his shirt. “I’m a target. There could have been assassins in here. Now, thanks to our unorthodox methods we know there isn’t any hiding in my house under the bed.”

Riza couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, when you put it that way.” She abandoned the heavy bath towel and found her clothes where they had been strewn.

Roy offered her his arm and she let him sweep her down the stairs. The night air still had a touch of humidity and warmth to it. Riza wished the festival would call in some rain so they’d get relief. She looked over at Roy. “I didn’t come here…I didn’t come to make you feel worse, that night in the Stumble Inn and I didn’t come here tonight just so we could do…that.”

He patted her hand. “I know. You did though, make me feel worse and I deserved it. I knew what I had done was wrong but I never owned up to it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t really remember much of what happened in the Stumble Inn.” Roy shot her a sheepish look. “I have a vague memory of waking up Havoc to come get me at last call. He said I had been shooting doubles and there might have been some singing involved.”

“Why do you think I came looking for you in the cemetery? I know how you can hurt yourself. You’re a master at it,” Riza scolded gently.

“I’ve had reason to become so talented,” he replied and, to that, she said nothing. 

The rest of the walk to the hotel was in silence. Roy, as promised, stopped a block away. “I’ll watch you until you get inside.” He didn’t offer her a kiss but he did give her hand a squeeze. Maybe he thought it would be crass to send her to David tasting him on her lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the festival, Roy,” she said.

“Good night, Riza.”

She could feel his eyes on her as she walked to the hotel. She ventured a small wave then watched as he retreated into the darkness. Riza turned and went inside. She knew David would be awake. He might even be angry that she hadn’t called him sooner. She felt awful inside, lying in his bed after what she had just done. She did care about the man. Riza wasn’t sure she had ever truly loved him, just that she had wanted to be in love with someone who had an easy, gentle life. She should have known that she was shackled to her past. He didn’t deserve to be sullied by that past which was why she had told him so very little of it.

David lifted his head off the pillow, looking at her blearily, a book dangling in his hand. “Are you okay, Riza?”

“I’m so sorry. We got busy worrying about the festival. I forgot the time,” she said. “I still need a shower,” she said and that was true. Her hair was sweat-dampened and flat from her various romps with Roy.

“Go ahead. I’ll leave the light on for you,” he said and she thanked him even though she didn’t really feel it. She knew that meant he’d stay up reading when what she wanted was for him to fall asleep so she could avoid everything for a few hours more.

Taking a second shower and toweling off her hair good, Riza went back into their room and slipped under the covers with him. She hoped now he could sleep and at least, he turned off the light. David stroked her damp hair. “You look so tired.”

“It’s been a very long day. You didn’t need to wait up for me,” she said, not really looking at him.

“I was worried. Going after terrorists is dangerous work.” David sighed. “Were you with General Mustang again?”

Riza nodded, realizing David wasn’t going to just go to sleep. She didn’t want to have to hurt him until they got back home and she could do it gently. He deserved that much. “I used to be assigned to him.”

“You said. I hope he wasn’t too demanding.”

Riza couldn’t help but laugh. “No more than usual.”

“You must know him well.” David’s blue eyes had an inquisitive gleam.

Yawning, she nodded. “Ever since he was a boy.” She let her heavy eyelids shut, barely realizing what she had just said.

“A boy?” Curiosity laced through David’s voice

“My dad was his alchemy teacher. I’ve known Mustang since his grandfather brought him to see us. Mustang was trying so hard not to talk with an accent. His family used to go back and forth on the Xing trade routes, back before the trains were lost.” She yawned again. “David, can we talk about this in the morning? I barely know what I’m saying.”

He slipped his arms around her, kissing her gently. “Of course.”

She didn’t even have time to compare that kiss to the ones from earlier in the evening. Riza surrendered to sleep.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

_Guilt is anger directed at ourselves. – Peter McWilliams_

“I think it might actually rain,” Aris said, looking skyward. “Which I suppose is the whole point,” he added with a chuckle.

Roy took a sniff of the air. “It might just cloud up. It doesn’t smell like rain yet.” He yawned, still delightfully worn out from the night before. He didn’t even really mind being in the red robes again with fake flowers on his head.

“Boss.” Havoc surreptitiously pointed with his cigarette. “Looks like the captain has an entourage.”

Roy turned to see Riza heading his way with David and a passel of school children. Elicia bounced along with the crowd and he saw Gracia and Winry bringing up the rear. Elicia seemed thrilled to have all sorts of new friends her age. Roy schooled the look of desire off his face. “Captain Hawkeye, can we help you? You and I don’t have to do anything until the children’s art judging at the town hall at lunch.”

“Mr. Calvert wanted to kids to meet you,” Riza said dryly, seeming almost embarrassed by that. “It seems they have a new history book that includes some of your exploits.”

Roy’s lips twitched as Aris snorted. “I think I’ll leave you, hero,” he said, a hint of bitterness in his tone. “I have a feeling my people’s portrayal in an Amestrian history book will not be how I remember it.”

“Are you Ishbalan?” one of the young boys asked, breaking away from the crowd before David could snare him.

Aris’ face softened and he went over to the child, squatting down to his level. “Yes, I am.”

The boy leaned in, several of his friends crowding around him, studying Aris’ red eyes. “Cool.” 

Aris put up with the scrutiny good naturedly for a while then stood up, ruffling the boy’s hair. “But you really wanted to see the Flame Alchemist, right? He’s right there.” He pointed to Roy.

The boy’s nose wrinkled. “No way, that guy’s too small. The Flame Alchemist is big and brave.”

“And handsome,” one of the little girls put in.

Aris and Riza broke out laughing as Roy’s eyes went stormy. It didn’t help that Gracia and Winry joined in the sniggering. Havoc nearly swallowed his lit cigarette. Aris took a few steps away. “I’ll be back later. I have to go…find Uzziel.” The Ishbalan priest said between laughs.

Roy’s nose wrinkled and he hissed to Riza, “Now the Ishbalans will be laughing at me.”

“If that’s all they do, count yourself lucky,” she replied, trying to stifle her laugh.

“I’m sorry,” David said, blushing as he rubbed the back of his head. “You never know what kids will say.”

“Maybe that’s the Flame Alchemist,” one girl offered, pointing to Armstrong as he came through the crowd. 

“That’s the Strongarm Alchemist,” Roy said, going over to Winry and Gracia. He glared at the women. “Quit looking so amused.” When his friends didn’t stop laughing, Roy whipped around back to the children. “He was Major Armstrong during the war. I really am the Flame Alchemist,” he said but convinced no one. Sighing, Roy met Armstrong. “Is there a problem?”

The big man nodded, his solitary curl flapping. “There was one older couple being prophets of doom if we befriend the Ishbalans and they were hustled off the town hall steps. However, there have been more reports that someone might try to bomb the proceedings.”

Roy scowled. It wasn’t entirely unexpected but Roy had been hoping it wouldn’t come to pass. “Anything I can help with?”

“It’s being dealt with. These things are the sort of thing Generals and Ambassadors allow subordinates handle,” Armstrong said wryly. “We could use Havoc’s help.”

Roy nodded, waving at his lieutenant. “He’s yours. And if there’s anything I or Hawkeye can do, tell us, Armstrong. I know we have our diplomatic duties but what good are they if we get blown up? Contrary to popular belief, I never did like being stuck behind a desk.”

Armstrong bobbed his head. “I believe General Grumman might be planning a call to you. You’re due back at your office for a while, aren’t you?” 

“Yes. I guess I’ll go there but can I borrow you for a moment, Armstrong?” Without waiting for an answer, Roy beckoned the beefy man to follow. “As it turns out, you and I are in a new history book and these kids think you’re the Flame Alchemist.”

Armstrong’s moustache twitched. “We’re what?”

“Heroes,” Roy said ironically and Armstrong’s face went morose. “Children, meet Strongarm. Maybe they wouldn’t mind a small demonstration.”

Armstrong’s blue eyes blinked slowly then he smiled as he pulled out his wrist brace with the alchemic array etched into it. He went over to a nearby stone fence and put his hand on it, shaping the newel post into a small dog to the children’s delight.

“And, for all you doubting children.” Roy plucked his glove out, still guarding his secret about what had happened to his alchemy once he had tangled with the Gate. He snapped and shaped them a little firebird. “See? I _am_ big and brave and handsome enough.”

“And petulant enough. Does it mention the petulance in the history book, David?” Riza asked, ignoring Roy’s hot look as she beamed. Winry and Gracia had hands clamped hard over their mouths.

David grinned. “I don’t think so.”

“They need to put ‘show off’ next to his name in the next edition,” Riza offered, her brown eyes dancing

“Are you through?” Roy asked tartly, seeing just how much she was enjoying this. She always had a way to keep him grounded, a diamond hard way. “If Mr. Calvert doesn’t need your help, General Grumman might need to talk to you as well, Hawkeye.”

“Oh, no, I’ve a lot of things to do with the kids and their parents. I can meet back up with you, Riza, at the art show,” David said, then almost seemed to rethink that for a moment as his eyes cut over to Roy.

She nodded, looking slightly distressed. “All right.”

Roy turned on his heel and stomped off, stopping next to Gracia and Winry who were still giggling out of control. “This is not funny!”

“I just wish Ed were here to hear you’re not handsome enough and short,” Winry gasped, holding her sides.

Roy did the mature thing and stuck out his tongue at her.

“Roy, how does it feel to be old enough to be in a history book,” Gracia asked slyly and his face fell before he left in a huff. Winry couldn’t hold in the giggles.

“That was beautiful, Gracia.” Riza sighed. “Of course, now I have to see him pout all day.”

Gracia patted Riza’s arm. “Sorry, but it was too good to pass up. I know his ego.”

Riza just shook her head. “Almost wish I had a camera to capture what is bound to be some masterful sulking.”

“Show her,” Winry encouraged.

Gracia pulled Maes’ old camera out of her purse. “I just wanted to sneak some of Roy in his Ishbalan garb since he wouldn’t pose. I got several of him pouting for the children. If I got lucky, the firebird came out, too. I need to get Elicia to mob him so I can get some pictures of them together.”

“I want to see them when they’re developed,” Riza demanded, a delighted expression on her face.

Gracia looked over the woman’s shoulder to where David was rounding up the kids and didn’t offer her copies, figuring it wouldn’t be good since Riza was seeing another man.

Riza took her leave and caught up with Roy. He was still pouting as he headed for the base. They walked past Breda and Roy suddenly stopped, eying the man in surprise.

Breda read his mind. “Armstrong and Investigations wanted Fuery since he’s good with surveillance electronics. We traded places for the day.”

Roy nodded. “Hawkeye and I are waiting for Grumman’s call. We’ll be in the office. Just take messages for any other calls and _no_ paperwork. Technically I’m not even supposed to be here.” He held up a hand. “I’m not signing anything.”

“I see nothing’s changed,” Riza said, rolling her eyes.

“Everything’s changed. I’m standing here in a red dress with flowers in my hair and schoolchildren think I’m too little to be whatever heroic figure this text book makes me out to be while my friends laugh their asses off at me,” Roy grouched then whirled on Breda. “You’re not going to laugh, are you?”

“No, sir,” Breda replied, looking like not laughing might be hurting him.

Roy favored him with a glare then went into his office, tossing himself into the chair. He gestured at the door. “Lock it.”

“Don’t worry, Roy. Breda isn’t going to drag in paperwork for you,” Riza said.

“Lock it any how,” he said, getting back up as she did so. Roy went and stared out the window. 

“If you want to go back to the festival, Roy, you can. Grumman would probably understand,” Riza said, seeing his wistful gaze.

Roy shrugged. “No, I’m sure it’s probably important.” Roy pulled the curtains the turned on the radio rather loudly. He dropped back into the chair. “I’m content to wait.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “I think you have something else in mind.”

Roy beckoned her closer, a wide grin on his face.

“What makes you think I’ll do _that_ here?” she hissed, glaring back at the closed door. “Are you insane?”

He just laughed and pushed his chair back from the desk, urging her forward. “You look beautiful in red.”

“You're in a dress. You just want to reaffirm your masculinity,” she snorted, crossing her arms.

Roy wrinkled his nose at her. “And I’m old enough to be in a text book, so yes the ego has come under fire today but tell me haven’t you always wanted to try this, taking such a naughty risk.” Roy pushed his hair out of his eye. “But, I know you’re still mad at me and the play field isn’t exactly clear so if you don’t feel right about it, I’ll understand.”

Riza smiled softly at that. “I appreciate that, Roy.” She went over to him, running a hand over his scarred cheek as her eyes flicked down toward his lap. “You’d be very disappointed if I said no.”

He chuckled, already half hard. “I’ll live.” Roy pointed downward. “He’s less understanding but then again he has no brains.” 

Riza shook her head. “Men. You all seem to think of that thing as its own little man.”

Roy cupped his hand over his crotch. “Shh, don’t tell him he’s not.”

Riza swung her leg over Roy, sitting on his lap as he got his hands free, feeling him rub against her in all the right ways. “Breda’s not an idiot you know.”

“Yeah, but he still thinks you hate me.” Roy nibbled her neck.

“I never hated you, Roy,” Riza whispered, pressing her cheek against his shoulder.

“I’m relieved,” he said, kissing her as his hand fumbled with a desk drawer. Breaking the kiss to lean around her, he fished out a condom. Riza just cocked an eyebrow at Roy. “What? They snoop in my drawers and I have a reputation to maintain.”

She just shook her head. “You astound me.” Riza saw the lust clouding his dark eye. “And make me want you even though I know I shouldn’t.” She grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking his head back and kissing him roughly. This was wrong, not quite animalistic, not with Breda just outside the door and a radio that could only mask so much but it was close.

As mouths warred for dominance, she managed to get her panties down, dangling off one ankle, like some naughty schoolgirl doing it in a rush lest she get caught. Robes got bunched up at the waist. He knew just how to touch her. Was it instinct? Primal memory? Biting gently into his shoulder to muffle the sounds as they came together, Riza didn’t want to let him go. She didn’t want to leave the magic of this office and face reality that awaited her beyond the door.

Doing something forbidden like this added spice to the act, leaving them perfumed with new sweat as their bodies shuddered their way towards bliss. Riza leaned against his chest as he tilted the chair back, not letting him slip from inside her. She kissed him gently. There was a strange look in his eye. Did he not think she would actually do this? Well, good thought since it was something she normally wouldn’t have done. She opened her mouth to pant something and the phone rang.

Roy snorted. “Grumman has impeccable timing.” He reached around her and picked up the phone. She envied his ability to sound like everything was normal as he greeted the general. “No sir, not interrupting anything. Just taking a break from the festival. Armstrong said to expect your call….Hawkeye? No, she’s not still at the faire…yes we’re able to work past our differences. It’s been fine. You can say we’ve been joined at the hip on this project.” He smirked at her, flexing his hips against hers.

Grabbing robes and all, Riza twisted both his nipples, watching his teeth grit. She let him go and he grunted something into the phone while she got up and buried the prophylactic in the trash.

“Yes…she’s right here, sir.” Roy handed her the phone and she stared at him incredulously. “Grumman wants to talk to you.”

She snatched the phone away and did her best to not sound like she had just down something very naughty as she answered the general. Roy got up from the chair and stared at the trash before getting his glove. He set the trash on fire. “Excuse me, General. I think I might have to go now. Mustang is setting things on fire…yes, I know that’s what he does best.” Riza hung up the phone, glaring. “You’re awful.”

“And your flowers are askew. Might want to fix them before we head back out there.” Roy smirked.

“So are yours,” she said, as a rap sounded on the door.

“Do I smell smoke?” Breda asked through the door.

Riza pulled it open, hoping she didn’t look too disturbed. At least the room smelt like smoke and not sex. “The general is burning his trash. I think he’s bored.”

“Oh, not bored. Just tidy.” Roy sailed past her. “Breda, you could probably take the rest of the day off or join Armstrong. There’s no need to stay cooped up in here.”

“Thank you, sir.” Breda said, his eyebrows rising.

Riza just wished she knew if she were imagining the knowing look in the stocky man’s eyes or if he really did know what they had done. She sighed and headed back out into the overcast day.

X X X

“Are you enjoying the festival?” Riza asked Winry after the waitress set down their menus.

Winry nodded. “Elicia has been running me all over. It’s tiring. I don’t know how poor Gracia does it.”

Riza laughed, grateful to have an option besides more faire food for lunch. She studied her menu. “I’m sure it’s a challenge.”

“How are you doing? I saw David with you earlier, when the children where crushing Roy’s ego.” Winry seemed darkly amused by that turn of events.

“I knew Roy would be here, involved with the festival. I wanted David to stay back East but he just wouldn’t. He really wanted the children to see this side of the Ishbalans, especially when we’re so close to the border there. What could I say? Don’t come because I really don’t want you meeting Roy Mustang.” Riza said miserably then looked up as the waitress returned. She and Winry gave their orders. 

“That might have made him…curious,” Winry said cautiously. Her blue eyes deepened with intensity as she scanned Riza’s face.

“He already is, in more of an academic way. I think David has some definite ideas as to how wrong the war there was but doesn’t really understand what all happened and at the same time finds the alchemists fascinating.” Riza shook her head as if trying to drive the idea out. It hadn’t helped that she had shielded David from her past, not wanting to burden him with the ugliness. She opted for changing the subject. “How about you, Winry? How have you been doing?”

Winry sighed and took a sip of water. “Working. I’ve been spending time in Rush Valley, learning new adaptations for the heat, a lot like I did for cold up in the Brigg’s Mountains. I never know where my patients might end up. Mr. Garfiel is great. I’m less thrilled with the town. I miss green things. It’s so hot there but I don’t have to tell you. You were in the desert.” Winry looked out into the street where fair-goers milled. “I don’t know why Rose would want to go back.” The tone in Winry’s voice said she was glad of it though.

It had come as no surprise to Riza that Winry and Rose wouldn’t get along in the long run. Rose was such a follower and, without someone to follow, she had done poorly until Armstrong offered her a chance to go back to Lior and rebuild. It gave her focus. Before that, however, she had been driving the Rockbells and Alphonse insane constantly bleating on about Ed’s disappearance, making his absence even more painful. In the end, when she left Resembol, it was too everyone’s relief. “I was never very fond of the heat either. Roy always hated it. He never wanted to be in the East. My home, originally, was north. Not quite as far as Briggs but still…it was cool and mountainous and green. I miss that sometimes.” Riza heaved another sigh. “At least Central has seasons.”

Winry nodded. “Roy’s spoken to me about moving my practice here. I tell him I don’t have to, not with him giving my name to every wounded soldier he meets. They find me just fine in Resembol. I tell him he just wants me here so I’m close whenever he breaks his foot again. I swear he’s worse than Ed.” Winry’s face fell, her jaw trembling slightly. She sat up straighter as if trying to find the steel inside herself. “I think I don’t leave Resembol because I know one day Ed and Al will come back and they have to know where to find me.” 

Riza reached across the table and put her hand over Winry’s. “That can’t happen now that the Gate is gone,” she said gently.

Winry’s eyes glistened for a moment then she visibly regained control. “I thought that, too, until I caught Roy researching other ways that might be used to break the barrier, the last time he was in for maintenance.”

Riza pulled her hand back, her mouth forming a little O. “I had no idea.”

“I didn’t write you about it because, well, I know how wrong these things can get. Even if Roy is right and it’s possible, the cost might be worse than not having the brothers here. I won’t have Roy maiming himself on my account.” Winry pushed her long hair back. “I’ve learned to live without them. I might not be ready to move on yet but I’ve adjusted to their absence,” she added, sounding much older than she was. “You know how that goes. Roy’s been just as gone even though he’s still in this world. I know it wasn’t easy for you to move on either.”

Riza stared at the tablecloth. “I’m not sure I have. I think David knows it, feels something between us but he doesn’t know what.”

Winry’s blue eyes bore into Riza. “But I thought you were happy with David.”

“I was, or at least trying desperately to be. Then I came here.” Riza ran her hand through her hair, nearly knocking the wreath of flowers off her head. 

“Has he been cold? Roy gets like that whenever he’s talking about you.” Winry’s voice picked up an edge as she got protective. “I don’t know if he’s angry with you or if he’s pretending he doesn’t care.”

“Both of those and he’s mostly angry at himself,” Riza said softly. 

“Does he expect you to forgive him?”

“I slept with him,” Riza blurted it out. Winry was old enough to talk about this sort of thing and she simply needed to tell someone. Riza couldn’t even help the way the words flew out of her mouth. She hadn’t meant to say it quite like that. 

Winry’s eyes widened and her fists balled up the table cloth. “What? When?”

Riza blushed. “Uh...last night a few times and today in his office. I still can’t believe I did that.” She slapped the table. “I never even did _that_ when we were actually a couple. Oh, I thought about it…often but…” She shook her head. “I’m not even sure why I’m telling you this. It’s embarrassing.”

“I thought.” Winry shook her head, confused. “After what he did, why?”

Riza rolled her shoulders. “He looked so pathetic and broken in the cemetery. And he was honest with me about what he did and why. I only meant to take him home but somehow that ended up very naked and it was _my_ idea.” She looked at her lunch partner. “Roy has this look about him, this way that he looks at you and it makes you burn. He’s like touching fire, no pun intended.”

Winry looked up at the lowering clouds. “I’m not sure if I ever saw Edward again that _this_ would happen but he never had burning looks, not like you mean.”

“Edward is a boy, Winry. Roy’s had time to grow into his sensuality and become comfortable with it.” Riza sighed a little, thinking about that hot sensuality.

Winry snared her bottom lip. “I’m guessing David has no idea.”

“None, please, let’s keep it that way. I have to think. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet,” Riza said hurriedly. 

“Is this the kind of thing you think through?” Winry asked, a dubious expression stitching up her face.

“I know what part of me is saying,” Riza confessed, “But we can’t go back to being commanding officer and subordinate. As ambassador, where he needs me most, in Ishbal, is the one place I’m not allowed to be as a military person. I would have to be civilian.”

“Well, wouldn’t that make sense? Resign, be with him then,” Winry suggested, her eyes gleaming. So many months of arbitrating between them might be paying off and it excited her. “You could finally actually be with him openly.”

“He asked me to marry him, the idiot.” Riza pinched the bridge of her nose.

Winry beamed and Riza remembered then all the letters she had traded with the girl. Winry, in spite of her practicality, had a romantic’s heart. She reminded Riza so much of herself it was frightening at times. Winry might be angry at Roy on Riza’s behalf but there was a subtle manipulation in those letters, trying to get Riza at least talking with Roy.

“He has to ask again when he actually means it,” Riza added.

Winry nodded. “I think he did.”

“Oh, I know he did but…well, let’s just say, his timing could have been better,” Riza said as the waitress returned with food. Riza didn’t have to say it would be better next time. She knew it would be.

 

X X X

Roy was just glad he had found a picnic bench under the shade of a tree. He really had no desire to bake in the sun. He wasn’t sure how the Ishbalans could handle heat like they did. He had no liking for it at all. He wasn’t too sure he liked the cold either but he found it easier to warm up than cool down, especially if he had a particular blond helping to fire him up. Roy scowled slightly at that thought. Riza wasn’t really his any more, the last twenty-four hours aside and it really wasn’t a thought he should be having while sitting across from his current….what should he call Mara? Lover? Girlfriend? Was she even less than either of them? No, he did care about her, after all. She could have been a good friend if she hadn’t tangled him up in her little campaign to hurt her father. 

“You look…upset,” Mara said cautiously. “Did something go wrong with the festival?”

“Just me participating at all. I feel…hypocritical and somehow vaguely insulting,” Roy said slowly. It wasn’t what was bothering him at the moment, of course, but he couldn’t tell her about Riza and he wasn’t the best liar.

“You sound like my father.” Mara picked at her fried vegetables. “You know he didn’t want you to participate in this. I think it’s stupid. Nothing is going to change the past but clinging to old hatreds, even ones that might be deserved, isn’t going to help.”

Roy managed a smile. “You mean that and I appreciate it. I’m not blind to there being a whole lot of people who’d like to see me dead.”

Mara took his hand with her greasy fingers. “I don’t want you to die.”

He squeezed her hand. “I guess we’ll see.” Roy let her go. “I appreciate the concern.”

“I think you and I know exactly what we are to one another. It’s not the love story for the ages but I do care about you, Roy,” Mara said frankly and he nodded.

Roy didn’t get a chance to answer as three shadows fell over the table. He looked up to see Uzziel, Aris and….what was the name of the sullen boy with them? Roy had only been introduce to the apprentice priest once and the boy never spoke to him. Roy put him at around Winry’s age and in desperate need of seeing the girl. He had a prosthetic arm with a dual hook for a hand. Roy knew why this boy had that instead of automail, life in tent cities, unwanted and more or less illegal, didn’t allow for the cash required to get automail. He thought maybe the young man’s name was Dev. “Want to have a seat?” he asked, feeling Mara tap his bare toes to register her displeasure with the offer. What exactly did she expect? That he could ignore them?

Aris smiled, though Uzziel and Dev remained sullen. The young man’s red eyes fastened on Mara as if to say, ‘how dare you be with him?’ She ignored the boy. “Thanks. Have you recovered from this morning?”

Roy snorted. “I may never recover.”

“This morning?” Mara cocked her head to the side, her blonde hair swinging. “What happened?”

“A group of school kids thought he wasn’t dashing enough.” Aris grinned.

“I’m curious enough to want to see this history book now,” Roy confessed.

“Want to see how heroic you are?” Dev spat then quelled a bit under a look from Uzziel.

Roy’s lips tugged down. “No, I’ve lived with the title of hero for a long time now. That doesn’t faze me, nor is it something that really fits what happened there.”

“History is written by the winners,” Uzziel offered up, diplomatically but he didn’t seem to believe it.

Roy nodded. “I don’t think you’ll see a classroom book in this country calling us butchers.”

“You were,” Dev said, not looking up from the table.

“Enough, boy,” Uzziel growled.

“Who asked you?” Mara glared at the boy.

“I think that was me, and I’m not arguing the point,” Roy replied blandly.

Uzziel shot him a puzzled look, echoed by Aris. The old priest asked, “You won’t defend yourself?’

Roy rolled his shoulders, nearly losing the sash to his robe. “What is there to defend? What happened there…don’t think all of the alchemists wanted to do that. Some did. Some enjoyed the hell out of their powers, I won’t lie about that to you. I wasn’t one of them, nor was Major Armstrong, the man you met today.”

“Why did you join the military?” Aris asked. “if not to fight?”

“I was an arrogant teenager who thought he was helping his country and so blinded by the power and wealth of a State Alchemist that I didn’t think things through very well.” Roy’s face twisted. “Teenaged boys are good at not thinking things through. My teacher saw the dangers but I didn’t listen to him.”

“And you ended up in a war,” Mara said sympathetically, trying hard to ignore the hateful look Dev spared her.

“Yeah. I won’t offer you bland excuses about following orders, true as it may be.” Sighing, Roy pushed his plate away. “Truth was, I had a choice, do as ordered or be imprisoned as a traitor…if I was lucky. More likely, I would have just been shot out of hand and tossed into a mass grave. I probably wasn’t much older than you are now,” He nodded at Dev. “I had a choice, kill or die myself. I was nineteen and I wasn’t ready to die, simple as that.”

“I remember you from then,” Uzziel said softly. The old man looked at Roy as if having never seen him before. “I had no idea you were a child… too much power for someone so young.”

Roy nodded. “Never did sit well, that title of hero. Didn’t keep much of the State Alchemist money either, well, just put aside a little for later, on the slim chance I’ll ever get old.” He sighed. 

“This is turning into a very depressing lunch,” Mara said, reaching out to take Roy’s hand. Her head snapped up and Roy looked over his shoulder to see what she did. Winry and Riza were heading their way and it wasn’t like he could just yank his hand out of Mara’s. 

“Captain Hawkeye, Miss Rockbell, are you enjoying yourselves?” Roy asked, faking his casual tone as he eased his hand free. 

“More so than you, from the look on your face,” Winry said, her eyes sweeping the table and coming to rest on Dev’s hook.

“Just thinking about stuff that won’t stay buried,” Roy said. “I think you all know Captain Hawkeye. This is Winry Rockbell.” Roy waved a hand at the girl. “This is Mara, Aris, Uzziel and…it’s Dev, isn’t it?” he asked and the boy curled his lip at him.

“Nice to meet you,” Winry said cheerily.

Dev’s hard red eyes met her. “What are you looking at? Never see a hook before?” He brandished the thing at her.

Roy and Winry both made a disparaging sound and the older priests looked embarrassed. “Miss Rockbell is an automail mechanic. If she’s looking at you, she’s thinking about ways she can help. She’s one of the best.”

“Did she make your fancy foot?” Dev snorted at him. “You might want to tell her to move. I think she’s in your man’s line of fire.” He nodded to Havoc who was off in the distance watching the general. “Afraid I’m going to bury this in you?”

“Dev, enough. If you can not be civil, you can return to our rooms,” Uzziel snapped but the boy didn’t quell.

“He’s not particularly worried about anyone at this table,” Roy said. “He knows how fast I am. Not that I’m saying you don’t have good reason to entertain those thoughts.” Roy’s eyes slotted. “I’m neither blind nor dumb, boy. I can see the burn scars above the prosthesis. I know what the chances are that you got that wound at my hands.”

“You could say that,” Dev replied, almost too stunned at the admission to remember just how angry he was at the world.

“Maybe you ought to talk to Winry. She might be able to help you,” Roy said quietly.

“Why would she help me?” He rapped the hook on the table. “I’m Ishbalan.”

“Both my parents were doctors during the war. They helped a lot of Ishbalans along with all the Amestrian soldiers.” Winry said steadily, her eyes on Dev, “They died because of it.”

Before Dev or anyone else could respond, Riza broke in, pointing to the street a few picnic tables beyond them. “Sir, Falman’s heading our way and he doesn’t look happy.”

Roy got up. “Falman?”

Falman didn’t even spare more than a moment’s glance at the Ishbalans. “Lieutenant Colonel Armstrong needs to speak to you and Captain Hawkeye. We’ve found a…” Looking around, he lowered his voice. “Bomb.”

Roy’s jaw clenched. “My apologies everyone. I have to go. Winry, could you please go find Gracia and have her take Elicia home as quickly and quietly as possible.”

Winry nodded. “I’ll do the same for David and the kids as well, Riza.”

Hawkeye nodded as Roy added to the Ishbalans, “Go and do the same for the children you have here. Falman, is it contained?”

“Yes and disarmed but there might be more,” he replied.

“I’ll come with you, if you don’t mind, Mustang,” Uzziel said. “Dev can assist Aris, Mara as well. I’m familiar with the weaponry we used to use in the war. If this is a protest by our people and not yours, I might be of help.”

“It’s appreciated. Follow me,” Roy said and he let Falman lead. So much for having a relaxing day at the fair.

 

X X x

All Roy really wanted was to relax and listen to his music. Violins and cello never failed to let his body and mind both unwind. A knock shattered his calm. He looked from the phonograph to the window. It was dark out so who could it be at his door? Riza? No, she should be with David tonight. One of his men telling him about more bombs? Maybe. His impending death? With his luck, yes. Sighing, Roy got up and padded to the door in his Xing silk slippers. His eye widened seeing Winry standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“I had Havoc drive me. I wanted to make sure you’re all right,” she said, eyeing his unusual clothing; Xing silk lounging clothes in their bright dragon and clouds design.

“I didn’t step on any bombs with the automail,” he replied sardonically.

“This isn’t about automail.” She stared at him, a hint of anger building in her blue eyes. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Roy looked over her shoulder and saw Havoc and his car were gone. He resigned himself to having his peace disturbed and stepped back. “I’m not exactly dressed for guests.”

She eyed his silks again. “What are you dressed for?” Winry held up a hand. “No, I probably don’t want to know.”

Roy shrugged. “My grandfather always used to like to see me in our homeland’s clothing. I can’t wear it in the day so at night…”

“Why not? I think it looks good.” Winry followed him in and he shut the door behind her then crossed his arms waiting expectantly. She ignored him, crossing the large foyer, craning her head like a tourist. Winry followed the music into the living room and went to study the ornate marble fireplace. A beveled fire screen of leaded glass – a dogwood flower as its center – stood guard in front of the opening. “This is huge.”

“Cavernous,” he said, tossing himself petulantly on the midnight-hued couch. “And because these clothes stand out more than I want to, I don’t wear them outside.” He glared at her.

“I know that look, Roy. Better people than you have tried to scare me off with it,” Winry sat down on the wing-backed chair, taking note of the large, sturdy-looking coffee table that had a sensual curving pattern to it. The dogwood motif carried over to is curved legs and the pale salmon colored marble lent an elegance to the room. “That’s the look Ed always used when he didn’t want to talk. I never paid him any mind either.”

“I’m mostly just curious why you’re here in the middle of the night,” Roy said. “People might talk about you.”

Winry snorted. “Anyone who actually knows us won’t.” Her blue eyes sobered. “I was worried about you. Bomb threats, working so closely with people who hate you. I saw that young Ishbalan’s eyes. He would have killed you if he could.”

Roy waved her off. “Whatever happens, happens.”

Concern hung years on Winry’s face. “You know that there are people who care about you, right? How do you think they'd feel...that we'd feel if something stupid happened to you?” Winry’s eyes bore into him. “What would Riza do now that you two are actually…talking again?”

“I’m not going to just let them kill me, Winry, but I’m not going to live in fear either,” Roy replied tiredly. “Riza told you we were on speaking terms again?”

“No, I was just rather hoping that you were since she told me you two were having sex,” Winry replied bluntly and Roy’s eye widened as his color went high. “I was assuming you had stopped being an ass and trying to cut her out of your life, hence the talking. And it would be a damn shame to take a blasé attitude about these threats now. She would never forgive you for dying easy. I don’t have to tell you how hard it is to be the one left behind.”

Roy’s lips thinned. “How is this any of your business, Winry?”

“You’re both my friends. I care about what happens to you,” Winry said.

“I’m not your friend. I’m someone you treat decently even though you shouldn’t.” The words tore out of his mouth too fast to stop them. Roy wanted those words back. He wanted them to just disappear, unuttered.

Winry’s face darkened as she got to her feet. “Is that how you see me? Am I just a mechanic you have to endure from time to time?” Winry’s hand came in fast on his blind side, leaving behind a palm-shaped sting. “Ed was right. You are a stupid bastard.”

Roy rubbed his cheek. “Damn it! Why is everyone hitting me? I don’t deserve this.” He looked into her flame-hot eyes then down at the soft carpet over the dark wood of the floor. “I don’t think of you as just my mechanic, Winry, but I don’t deserve to be your friend.”

“Why is it so hard for you to believe I’ve forgiven you?” The question lashed out, hitting hard.

“Because some things aren’t meant to be forgiven,” he replied, watching her fist shake. “It’s too hard on me. I don’t know how to put aside that guilt.”

“Is that why you took the ambassadorial job?” 

“Maybe. I don’t even know. I just…I want to fix things that I can’t fix, Winry.” Roy covered his face with a hand. “That leaves me feeling empty.”

Winry sighed and rested a hand on Roy’s shoulder and he dropped his hand. “You really are so much like Ed.”

Fighting back both a weary smile and tears, Roy looked up into her face. “I’m still trying to get him back for you, Winry.”

“Ed and Al made their choice. I don’t want you making yourself insane over this,” she said, trying to put on a brave front. “You almost threw away your life to bring back my parents. I don’t want you to do that to bring back the brothers.”

“I think it can be done without trading a life, but I’m not sure how, just yet…or how to find them once the rift is made,” Roy confessed.

“Well, Mr. Hughes isn’t here to knock sense into you like the last time so it’s up to me to do it and I will, too, if necessary. I’m a good shot with my wrenches.” Winry smiled widely.

“That might be worse than Riza’s revolver. She doesn’t actually ever hit me.” Roy sighed, rubbing his face. “How are you getting home tonight, Winry?”

“Havoc will be back in an hour.” She shrugged.

“I’m being a bad host.” Roy got up. “Can I get you anything?”

“How about whatever you were drinking?” Winry pointed to the small porcelain cup with dogwood painted on it. She wondered briefly what he liked about dogwoods or did he inherit the whole theme from someone.

Roy cocked an eyebrow. “Rice wine? I’ll go warm up a little more of it, if you’d like. I warn you, it’s a little strong.”

“I used to steal granny’s corn mash. Could it be worse?” Winry laughed.

“We shall see.”

 

X X X

Riza brushed her damp hair, sitting cross-legged on the edge of the bed while David read. At least the bombs had been contained and traced back to a disgruntled Bradley sympathizer who didn’t really give a damn about the Ishbalans or the festival. He just figured it was a way to make himself heard. David had gone quiet when she told him that and she had slipped into the shower trying to forget they were truly worlds apart. War was something David read about while she lived it. When they got home, she would find a way to say that gently. “David, are you all right?”

“Yeah.” He put the book down and crawled across the bed to kiss the back of her neck. “Tired out. That many kids, even with their parents here, are tiring.”

“I know what you mean. General Mustang and his men aren’t any less tiring than eight year olds and a little less well behaved,” Riza said, setting her brush down.

David laughed. “Really now? The book makes the Flame Alchemist seem very….flamboyant.”

“That book. Mustang will never get over being old enough to be in a history book.” Riza wished that didn’t make her smile but Roy could be so melodramatic she couldn’t help it.

“Really?” David sat back. “I would have thought he might like it since the book made him seem rather exciting to know. You said you’ve known him forever. Is he really like that?”

Riza couldn’t hold in the laugh. How ludicrous was this? David was a Mustang fan. “More like a slacker.”

David wrinkled his nose. “I don’t believe you.” 

“On the surface, he is. It makes for a very good cover. It doesn’t pay to be too smart,” Riza said after a moment’s thought. “But when it comes to paperwork, he really is one. I used to have to threaten him with bullets to make him do it. He’d whine, cry and cajole, anything but do something he thought was boring.”

“And your father taught him. I just had no idea you were that involved in some of the major events in our lifetime, Riza,” David said, slightly in awe.

“I never thought about it that way,” Riza said uncomfortably.

“You know some very important people.” He touched her cheek. “Anything important I ought to know about you and Mustang? Any more surprises?”

Riza stiffened. What prompted that question? Simple curiosity about a historical figure? She knew how much David liked history. Or did he suspect something? “He’s been a friend for a long time though…ever since the Fuhrer died, we’ve grown apart. That’s about all you really need to know. I don’t really want to spend the night talking about him, David.”

“How about not a lot of talking at all?” David kissed her, caressing her back.

Riza had put him off every night since they got to Central. She didn’t think she could do it again. Kissing him back, she wished for them to be back out East so she could end things as painlessly as she could.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

_Nothing is more wretched that the mind of a man conscious of guilt – Plautus_

“I’m not sure I’m entirely clear on this,” Roy said, looking up at the fat, black clouds that had slowly been gathering. “What do we do if it rains?”

“President Armstrong has kindly given us the area around Slate Run Lake in the park so we can celebrate properly,” Aris said with a grin.

“I think General Mustang wants to know if he’ll have to do as you do and dance naked in the rain,” Riza said wryly, rolling her eyes at him.

“Shy, General?” Uzziel’s smirk deepened his wrinkles, his eyes flicking downwards.

Riza snorted indelicately. Roy glared at her. “Not in the least,” he replied, puffing up. “I’m just surprised that nudity is involved. No offense but your culture just seemed more staid than that but I’m sure what little I know is distorted.”

“We are a bit staid,” Uzziel admitted. “However, it rains so infrequently that feeling it on your skin, especially after you’ve asked God for it, is a good thing.”

“You can smell the storm coming now.” Roy looked back up at the clouds as if willing the rain to start. “So, Captain Hawkeye and I will be dancing naked in public.” He smirked but it flipped into a frown as he saw Riza’s wide eyes and remembered her tattoo.

“Do I even want to know?” A woman laughed behind him.

Roy turned to see Gracia and Winry browsing along the festival booths with Elicia between them. “Part of the celebration should it rain, Gracia.”

“So, did you finally find religion, Roy? It looked like you might have been praying for rain,” Gracia teased and Roy made a face at her. 

“Do we get to watch?” Winry asked, her eyes dancing.

“I believe it’s a private ceremony,” Roy replied, waving her off.

“Oh, you can bring a few guests, Mustang,” Aris offered with a cheery grin.

“That includes bodyguards right?” Havoc called from his spot a few feet away, leaning against a tree. Riza whipped around, glaring.

She stabbed a finger at Havoc. “No!”

“I’m pretty sure it does, Captain,” Havoc replied, with a cocky smirk forming around his cigarette.

“She’s going for her gun, Lieutenant,” Roy put in with a wide grin.

“Hey guys, we might get to see the Captain without her robes,” Havoc bellowed back to the rest of Mustang’s men then quickly put the tree between him and Hawkeye.

Roy caught hold of her as she fumbled in her robes. “I need him. No shooting.”

“These robes aren’t conducive to quick-draw.” She jerked free of his grip. “Just like I was telling David last night, you all have the maturity of his school kids.”

A hurt expression kissed Roy’s face and he shot her a look that said, ‘what did I do?’ He shrugged it off. “They’re men and, as Winry was pointing out to me last night, sometimes we’re very stupid.” He glanced over at the girl. “I hope the rice wine didn’t have any lingering effects.”

Riza and Gracia both looked surprised at that but neither said anything.

“I’m good,” Winry assured him cheerily.

Roy nodded. “I think Hawkeye and I have a few more festival things to do before we’re free until the afternoon. Unless of course it rains.”

“Just come get us if it does.” Winry grinned, ignoring Riza’s withering glare. “Wouldn't want to miss that.”

“We’d better go meet up with David. The children are having a cultural exchange at the school this afternoon. Elicia’s class is attending and I know David’s group will be there, too,” Gracia said, nudging Winry. “I understand there’ll be quite a few Ishbalan children there for the exchange,” she added, looking at the two priests.

Uzziel nodded. “Dev is supervising them, though you’d have thought I was asking him to muck out the sewer. He doesn’t think babysitting is proper work for him.” The old priest snorted. “You were very right about teenaged boys, Mustang. Stubborn, arrogant creatures.”

“Yes, apparently we get little better with age.” Roy shot Riza a look and she wrinkled her nose at him.

“All right then, Winry and I will see you later, Roy,” Gracia said, then smirked. “Maybe all of you.”

Roy snorted and waved at the women as they left. He could feel Riza’s eyes on him. She wasn’t pleased. When they had a second alone, he’d suggest faking a sick headache so she could get out of having to show that tattoo of hers in public.

X X X

“Are you sure you feel up to this, Captain Hawkeye?” Aris asked as they headed for the school. Sprinkles of rain had begun to fall. “You don’t have to participate in the cultural exchange. If you have a headache, noisy kids won’t do it any good.”

“I think I’ll be good for a little bit more,” Riza said, glancing up at the sky. “I’ll beg off going to the park though, as sorry as I’ll be to miss that.” Her eyes cut over to Roy in time to see him smirk at her. His preening wasn’t lost on her.

Aris nodded. “I’ll send Mara to go for my herbs. I have something that is good for headaches. I’d send Dev but knowing him, he’s likely to substitute a purgative just to register his general displeasure with the world.”

“I gave him a lot of reasons to be displeased,” Roy said softly then looked up, seeing Armstrong heading his way in his dress uniform. “Lieutenant Colonel?”

“My sister asked me to represent her at the cultural faire. I’m looking forward to it!” Armstrong beamed, cracking his thick knuckles.

“He likes kids,” Roy confided in Uzziel and Aris. He sighed. He didn’t have Armstrong’s gift with children. They made him vaguely nervous but not as nervous as the thought of a naked dancing Armstrong should his sister wanted him to go to the lake with him and the Ishbalans. Over seven foot of dancing naked muscle would make anyone feel inadequate. “Okay, we’d better get in there.” As they headed for the door, there was the sound of breaking glass. They all paused, looking for the cause. Roy sniffed then swore. “Gas and fire!”

“Roy, the school!” Riza pointed to the flames rising from the back of the school. “Fire bombs.”

“Shit! All the kids are inside. Falman, Fuery, Breda! Find who threw those damn bottles and call the fire department,” Roy roared. “Everyone else, we have to get the people out of there.” Roy’s eye widened, seeing the flames leaping much higher than they should have. “Everyone’s in the gymnasium for the cultural exchange right? They must have poured fuel in the empty halls.” He didn’t take the time to go for his glove. He didn’t need to make a spark and now, with that happened to him at the Gate, his array wasn’t necessary to control the flames.

“Sir, can you contain it?” Riza asked.

“I think so. Armstrong, we could use some sand to smother the rest of the building. I’ll handle the flames going for the gym,” Roy said, pressing his palms together, feeling the energies building.

Armstrong grunted his agreement, pulling on his wrist bracer. His fist hit the ground sending a wave of grit and freshly made sand over the school, smothering some of the spreading fire. Roy concentrated on the flames licking at the gym, barring them from their fuel. Streamers of sweat popped out over his face and neck as he struggled to contain the large blaze. The sky chose that moment to open up and help them. The heat and crackle of the fire died away.

Roy waved a hand to those closest to him, ignoring the cries from the crowd and the distant fire engine siren. “We’ll go in through the gym doors. Follow me and don’t open any doors unless I say so. If all the fire isn’t out, there could be a back draft. It’s a tricky thing, fire.” Roy pointed to the gym door, grimacing where he saw some sadistic bastard had chained and padlocked it from the outside to make sure everyone inside died. He reached out, trying to determine if a fire was still inside, risky business at best. It wasn’t like he had some kind of magical sense, just a good understanding of fire. He nodded and Armstrong took the door down.

The cries of frightened children echoed in the large room. A wave of them headed for the now-open door, their watchers barely able to keep a handle on them. Armstrong barred the door long enough for the adults to regain order. Roy’s heart thundered seeing Gracia and Winry in the crowd. Elicia clung tight to her mother. 

“Is anyone missing?” Armstrong’s voice boomed out before Roy could ask.

“There were some kids in the auditorium. That angry Ishbalan boy was going to round them up when the fire started. We haven’t seen them since,” Winry offered shakily. 

“Armstrong, you come with me. Hawkeye, you help David with the children. Uzziel, Aris, you want to help them as well. I don’t want to risk you two inside the school. There might still be flare ups and hot spots.”

“It’ll help to see familiar faces.” Uzziel nodded to the Ishbalan children.

Roy gave a curt nod and he moved deeper into the school, Armstrong moving along very silently behind him for such a big man in dress boots. Roy pulled on his gloves. He didn’t want too many questions on how his alchemy had evolved. They saw no one in the hallways as they went but the smell of accelerant was strong. Roy heard the whimper of children just ahead and saw that the auditorium door was open. He and Armstrong picked up the pace. Three small children were huddled on stage around Dev who looked odd, like half of him had been swallowed, then Roy realized that’s what had happened, he had gone through the flooring. The smell of smoke beat at Roy and the heat inside the room was all wrong. 

“There’s still fire in the walls, Armstrong. We have to get them out of here,” he whispered and the big man nodded. Roy smiled at the children so not to worry them more. “We’re going to get you out of here. Dev, how badly are you hurt?”

The young man canted his face up at Mustang, too frightened to be angry. Roy could see the nightmare memories of the boy losing his arm had come back for Dev. “The fire….didn’t get me but I’m stuck.” He waved his hook. “Can’t pull myself up with this.”

“We’ll get you out,” Roy promised. “Armstrong, could you?” He nodded to the three younger kids and Armstrong scooped them up. “Are you stuck on anything I can’t see?”

“Don’t know…don’t think.” Dev shook hard. “Don’t want to burn again! I can’t…”

“I know. No one is burning today,” Roy said grimly as the sound of break glass cracked through the acoustically perfect room. Roy’s pupils dilated as he heard the rush of rekindling flames. “Armstrong, run! It’s going to flash over.”

Armstrong whirled, racing out of the room. It felt like the air was being sucked out of the room and then the crisp crackle of fire danced across the ceiling. Dev screamed but Roy ignored him, concentrating on his alchemy. The fire died a premature death and Roy sagged against the floor, drained. He rallied quickly, not sure if they were out of the woods yet.

“You’re safe,” he told the boy, grabbing him around the chest. 

“You…you put it out.” Dev’s red eyes seemed too big for his face.

“I am the Flame Alchemist, after all. Hold onto me. I’m going to try and pull you out. Damn…could have used Armstrong for this,” Roy said, wondering if he could do this alone. The young man’s arms wrapped tight, nearly strangling Roy. The hooks dug into his shoulders, which didn’t help matters. Roy strained to pull Dev up. “Damn, I’m too short to get much leverage,” he groaned but the terrorized young man wouldn’t let go to help, even if he could. Roy slipped, falling back and dragging Dev with him. The boy sprawled on top of him and Roy counted himself lucky they didn’t go back through the unstable floor. Red eyes met Roy’s and Dev’s mouth tightened as the boy rolled away. 

Getting onto his backside, Dev checked out his legs. “You saved me.”

“You’re bleeding. How bad did your legs get cut up?” Roy took a look at the scratches and hoped they were superficial. “Do you think you can walk?”

Dev nodded. “To get the hell out of here, I can.”

Roy got up and helped the boy to his feet. Dev was less stable than his momentary bravado would suggest. Roy slipped a steadying arm around him and Dev glared. “Hate me later. Let’s get out of the potential fire hazard first.”

“Not arguing.”

Roy half dragged the young man to the nearest exit then out into the smoky, wet air. He saw the fire engines arriving in the downpour. He managed to get Dev half way to where most of the others had evacuated to before the boy’s legs went out. Roy eased him down. “Let’s have a look.”

“What do you know about first aid?” Dev growled at him.

Roy sighed. Finally he had found someone more annoying and mouthy than Edward Elric. “Enough but here comes some help if you don’t trust me.”

“I don’t,” Dev said without much conviction as his fellow priests descended upon him.

“Fair enough.” Roy sat back on the wet grass and let Aris and Uzziel take over. Using his alchemy like that was tiring but he wasn’t about to show weakness now, no matter how much he wanted to just lay down and let it rain on what was left of him.

“Is he all right?” Aris asked.

“I don’t think it’s bad but he won’t let me look,” Roy said, levering himself back up as he remembered he wasn’t here alone. Riza had gone inside and Gracia, Elicia and Winry had been in the fire. “You can take care of him. I’m going to go look for my friends who were inside. I need to be sure they’re okay.”

“Of course,” Aris said, rain sluicing down his face.

Roy went through the crowds, looking for his friends. He knew they should all be all right. The only one he didn’t know about was Riza. Once again she had followed him into danger. He hated it. He hated that children were left crying, terrified, some would carry the mental scars all their lives. Just look at what he had done to Dev. It was time for the hate and pain to end. That wouldn’t happen overnight he knew so he concentrated on things he could do something about, like finding Riza. Roy finally spotted her with Winry, Elicia, Gracia and David, trying to keep the kids and their parents calmed. “Hawkeye, report,” he called, trying to hide his immense relief that she was all right. 

“Armstrong and his three charges are fine,” she said. “Is Dev all right?”

“Scratched up but he’ll be fine. I left him with Aris,” Roy said. “How bad was it?”

“Everyone is accounted for and no real injuries, just a few bumps and bruises and a lot of reddened eyes and a little too much smoke,” Riza said. “It could have been so much worse.”

Roy nodded. “I’m glad you’re all right.” He squatted down to Elicia’s level and hugged her. “Especially my favorite little girl.”

“Was scary, Uncle Roy.” Elicia tossed her arms around his neck. She looked at him “Your flowers are all crooked.”

“Flow…” Roy touched his head. He had forgotten he was wearing those. What a sight he must be. “I’ll fix them just for you.” He straightened up. “Mr. Calvert, I’m going to assign a detail to make sure you and your charges get back to the hotel all right, since we don’t know who did this. The streets might not be safe. I’ll have to find a few more policemen and some other troops to get everyone back to where they belong. Gracia, Winry, you can wait for me…maybe not. It’ll be a long wait.”

“Sir, you should delegate some of the responsibility,” Riza said gently. “You look exhausted.”

He pulled himself up to his full height. “I’m fine, Hawkeye.”

“Roy, your shoulder is bleeding.” Winry pointed to it. 

“Damn. Well, I think Aris has his herbs or something with him. He seemed to think he could help Dev. I’ll go see if he has some bandages.” Roy said and his friends came with him. He let them, rather having them close than not. He did notice David stayed behind with the kids. Roy stopped when he found the Ishbalans again. “Do you have any bandages, Aris? I could use one. If not, I’ll try to track down a paramedic.”

Aris squinted up at him. “Sit. I’ll have a look.”

Roy sat next to Dev. “How bad was it?” 

“He’ll be just fine,” Aris said, peeling the robe off Roy’s shoulder. “Got a couple punctures, here, look a little deep. I’ll put some antiseptic on them and bandage them up. It’ll sting a little.”

“That’s fin…ow!” Roy hissed as Aris swabbed his torn shoulder. Roy glared at Winry as if it were her fault. “What is it with you doctor types and ‘it’ll sting a little?’ Just say, ‘here’s some fresh hell for you, sit as still as you can’.”

“Oh, just be brave little soldier,” Winry said and Riza rolled her eyes at him.

“Sorry,” Dev muttered, his face going as red as his eyes.

“It’s fine. Not like it could be helped. It’s better than leaving you wedged in a burning building.” Roy sighed. “I’m just glad that no one was seriously hurt.”

“Sir.” Riza pointed to Breda and Havoc who were making their way through the crowd.

“Report,” Roy demanded.

“We caught two of them, sir,” Breda said.

“More Bradley sympathizers with the bombs yesterday?” Roy asked almost hopefully. At least that was a devil they knew.

Havoc shook his head. “A couple of Ishbalans. They are being quite vocal about their feelings for this festival and the cultural exchange.”

“Damn it,” Uzziel huffed and Aris looked stricken.

“Couldn’t have said it better,” Roy muttered.

“You’re telling me I almost got killed by of my own people!” Dev roared. “I mean, it’s not like I’m thrilled about this either but it’s better than another war, right? They were just a bunch of young kids, like I was when this happened.” He shook his arm.

“Yes, they could have at least selected a military target to make their statement,” Roy said.

“They were probably more interested in killing ‘traitors’,” Aris said, well aware that some of his people didn’t like the cultural exchange.

Sighing Roy nodded and got up. “So much for your ceremony. It’s probably not safe to go to the lake at all.”

Uzziel shook his head. “We will not let fear conquer us. Let’s deal with the matter at hand and then tonight, we dance. We could use the celebration.”

“And you thought you might wiggle out of this,” Riza whispered to Roy. “Though wiggling might still happen at the lake.”

“Don’t make me order you to dance, captain,” he hissed back and she scowled. He turned to Gracia and Winry. “I’ll find someone to take you two home. I have to go handle this.”

“Don’t worry about us, Roy. We’ll just go with the others,” Gracia said.

“And I’ll be around later to check that shoulder.” Winry patted his arm.

Roy nodded and wearily led his men off to deal with this latest threat.

X X X

In an eerie repeat of the night before, an unexpected knock sounded on the door. Roy set down his dinner bowl and padded toward the door. He should have just gone out for dinner since it was late by the time they left the lake, a bunch of wet, naked, dancing fools. He suspected someone had a camera with a telephoto lens in play, Fuery being the likely candidate. Just what he needed, men in possession of naked pictures of him and Armstrong.

Instead of going out to eat, Roy had come home for some comfort food, just like grandma used to make. Well, he wasn’t as good a cook as his Gram but he knew how to make a decent rice wine sauce for his beef and vegetables. Roy wondered if it was Riza at his door again; he could hope. Or Winry, which was okay; still, it could be his death waiting. Close enough, he thought, opening the door to see three Ishbalans standing there. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Maybe we should have called first,” Aris said, a sheepish look on his face.

“No, that’s all right. Come in.” Roy stepped back. “I was just finishing up dinner.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Uzziel said, hesitating in the doorway.

Roy waved him off. “Not a problem. I have leftovers if you’d like a little something.”

“We ate,” Aris said while Dev craned his head around, looking at the foyer and the grand staircase.

“This is huge!” Dev cried.

“That’s about the third time I’ve heard that this week. Not exactly my taste. Half the furniture isn’t even mine. They gave it to me when I became ambassador,” Roy said, heading back for the living room. “It was meant to impress important guests…to be honest, I don’t get many yet…well, you’re among the first.”

“It is impressive,” Uzziel said, herding Dev along. The boy limped after Aris.

“Have a seat. Is there something I can get you to drink? Dev, why don’t you take that chair, you can put your feet up on the ottoman,” Roy pointed to the wingback. Dev plopped down on the love seat instead. Roy couldn’t help but be reminded once again of a certain short, irascible alchemist. 

”We’re fine,” Aris said, leaving the chair to Uzziel. He sat next to Dev.

“To what do I owe the honor of this visit?” Roy reached for his dinner bowl, poking at it with the Xingese sticks.

“We wanted to talk to you about your next trip to Ishbal and how we might want to present what happened today,” Uzziel said, his eyes tracking Roy’s dinner utensils. The old man harrumphed. “I never noticed it until now, your heritage.”

Roy smirked. “Maybe because of my reputation with this country’s army. When I’m here, I’m always worried I can’t hide my telltale eyes any more than you can.”

“No, I suppose not,” Uzziel said, studying Roy’s black, almond-shaped eyes.

“As for what happened today, I’ll trust you to suggest a way of bringing this to your people. I’m assuming you mean me stopping that fire,” Roy said, stirring his dinner listlessly in its bowl.

“You saved a lot of lives,” Aris said, the gratitude evident in his eyes.

“Which doesn’t change how many lives I took all those years ago,” Roy replied quietly, setting his dinner aside. “It might seem self-serving for me to mention this incident at all.”

“What? You want us to sing your praises for you?” Dev grumbled, his eyes angry red slits.

“No. As far as I’m concerned, this never has to be mentioned again.” Roy shrugged. “If the families that were involved say something, all well and good but I will not trade on this to make myself look better.” 

“I…yeah well,” Dev sputtered, clearly not ready for that. He was spared further embarrassment by another knock on the door.

“Hmm now who? If you’re all here then…” Roy’s nose wrinkled.

“Maybe it’s Mara,” Dev drew out her name like a curse. “Why don’t you go let your girlfriend in.”

Roy snorted, ignoring the boy and the mortified looks of his elders as he left to answer the door. He came back with Riza, Winry and David. “My lucky night, two girlfriends and an extra,” he said, sweeping his hand toward David and Riza elbowed him hard. He glared at her, holding his side. “You three sit down. I’m going to get us all something to drink.” Roy let them settle themselves while he went to warm up a bottle of rice wine for everyone. He added a bottle of plum wine to the tray to give a choice. “Here we go. Help yourself. Xingese rice or plum wines. Watch the rice one, it’s sneakier than it looks.”

“We’re used to desert lily liquor,” Aris assured him with a dismissive wave.

“Oh, yeah, that stuff. I’ve been knocked on my ass more than once by that.” Roy laughed. 

“It’ll do that.” Uzziel grinned knowingly.

“So, before I ask the newcomers why they’re here, let’s finish up the other business,” Roy said. “Are we in agreement that might be the best idea?”

Uzziel nodded. “We were going to suggest that, actually. Let us and those whose children you saved carry the tale. It might go down better that way.”

Seeing the curious looks on the newcomers faces, Roy just nodded. “Agreed. All right, and what brings you three out tonight?” he asked of his friends.

“After everything that happened today, we just wanted to make sure you were all right,” Winry said. “Gracia wanted to come, too, but Elicia was so upset that she didn’t want to just leave her with a sitter.”

“And I didn’t want them going by themselves so I volunteered to come,” David said sheepishly. “Though, I’m pretty sure Riza would be the one rescuing me if any more trouble erupted.”

“She’s quite good at that.” Roy turned to Winry. “I’ll stop by and see Gracia tomorrow.” He gave Winry a look, nodding toward Dev. She wrinkled her nose in response. 

The exchange didn’t go unnoticed. Dev’s tanned features took on high color as his brow knitted over those red, fierce eyes. “She talked to me about doing the automail for the cost of her services only. I’m not stupid. I know how much the actual automail costs. I don’t what your charity!”

Roy just rolled his shoulders, nonplussed. “Fine, keep your non-functioning hook. It doesn’t really matter to me.”

“You’re just trying to make yourself feel good,” Dev accused, his body quivering with anger.

Roy saw Riza take a step closer to him then back again when she remembered David was in the room. “Maybe. Or maybe I was just trying to help. If you don’t want the offer, don’t accept it.”

“I didn’t!”

Winry shot the boy a ‘grow up’ look and the two priests shook their heads. “Sometimes, Dev, you need to learn to accept help,” Aris said gently.

Dev glared at his elder. “Not his.”

Roy sighed, feeling very tired. He just wanted them all to go home, including Riza. He knew she probably had tried to discourage David but here he was, in Roy’s home. All Roy wanted was to crawl under the covers and hide for a while. He held up a hand. “It’s all right, Aris. It’s his body, his choice.” He looked at everyone, picking up the letter he had started to his sisters about the whole festival, planning to cap it off with the naked dance. He was hoping they’d all take the hint. “Is there anything else I can do for you all?”

“What is that?” Winry peered over his shoulder. “I’ve not seen writing like that.”

“Yeah, you probably don’t have a Little Xing in Resembol,” Roy said. “Aris and Uzziel, being a little older, can tell you there used to be whole sections of Eastern cities and even here in Central that were all Ishbalan suburbs. Same with Xingese people. My sisters live in one in the northeast. This is Xingese writing.”

“You have sisters!” Winry asked in shock. “Ed didn’t know, did he? He would have been horrified to know there were more of you.”

Riza bit back a laugh then went over to David who was studying Roy’s bookshelf as she tried to avoid Roy’s glare. 

“Why do you think I’m so brave?” Roy smirked at Winry. “I don’t just have a sister, I’m the youngest of five and I’m the only boy.”

“Oh dear,” David said, turning away from the bookshelves. “Bet that was rough.”

“Tell them about what your sisters used to do, sir.” Riza smirked wickedly.

Roy pointed at her. “Shut up, Hawkeye!”

“He was their favorite doll,” she continued and he knew this was part of his penitence for the things he put her through.

“Did they play dress up with you?” Winry giggled.

“You shut up, too.” Roy stabbed a finger at her. “It was awful, all those girls and me. The things they’d do…just so long as no one else bugged me. Bullied would get a face full of Mustang girls. Scary, let me tell you. Then there was the train wreck, bang, no parents, so me and the sisters lived with Grandfather and he was very big on us maintaining our Xing heritage, so I still write to all of them that way.” Roy shrugged. “And when I was nine, Grandfather said I was going to go live with an alchemist so I could train more. Mom was an alchemist so without her I was kind of lost. I was so excited, no more evil sisters. I was thrilled to go someplace new, like I was a big boy and I had all these plans…then found out Teacher had a damn daughter. Gah, girls, the bane of my nine year old existence.”

“With those bruises on your cheek, I’d say women still are the bane of your existence.” Uzziel laughed.

“Okay, everyone’s going to be banned from my house but David, Aris and Dev but I suspect he wants banned,” Roy grumbled, rubbing his bruised face. Dev’s lips skinned back from his teeth.

“So what happened with your teacher’s daughter?” Aris asked.

“Oh, she was an awful thing. Headstrong and bossy. And when she’d get caught doing something bad, she’d blame me and I’d get in trouble,” Roy said, smirking at Riza

“I only did that once,” Riza argued to the amusement of the Ishbalan priests. 

“More than that. You used to make stuff up, like the time you got mad at me and told your dad I was in your underwear drawer.” He poked her shoulder.

“That was just funny. I thought Dad was going to kill you.” Riza giggled. 

“Not funny. I thought he was, too. See? Honestly, awful.” Roy waved a hand at her.

“If she was so awful, then why did you keep her on your staff for so long?” David asked, shooting Roy an intense look.

“Because I apparently like being bossed around and picked on,” Roy sighed. “I live for it. She used to shoot at me. Havoc and the others can be a nightmare and then there was Fullmetal. I might as well hire Dev to the open junior liaison position just to round out the set.”

“I’m not working for you,” Dev huffed then thought for a moment. “Who’s Fullmetal?”

“The Fullmetal alchemist, a little young man pissed at the world and most especially me, though I never figured out why.” Roy shrugged. “You think you’re being nasty, Dev? You have nothing on him. Used to call me Colonel Shit to my face.”

“Or the bastard,” Riza offered.

“And some other really nasty things I’m not repeating,” Winry demurred and Roy just raised his eyebrows, wondering what else Ed used to say. He’d ask Winry privately later.

“Any reason you crave abuse?” Aris asked, a serious look in his red eyes.

Roy shrugged again. “Some of them tease me because they actually care about me. As for the rest, maybe a part of it is, I deserve it. I can’t change the past but I can punish myself for it. I’m not sure I’ll ever see myself in whatever heroic terms might be in your books, David.” Roy got up and beckoned to his visitors. “Come on. There’s something I want to show you. No one’s been back here yet. I finally had some things sent to me from my sisters. I’ve always been afraid to openly embrace my heritage while I was in the Fuhrer’s service. I saw what happened to the Ishbalan citizens and always knew that it could happen to the Xing ones as well. I think that’s half the reason I was so hesitant to buck authority during the war. I doubted anyone would have cared I’m half Amestrian.”

“That’s understandable,” Uzziel said, openly appraising Roy.

Roy opened the door to a room that very much highlighted his heritage. In the center of the room was a low table surrounded by mats. Along one wall stood a tea chest that had a dragon tea pot and cups displayed on it. On the other wall a dragon kite had been tacked up giving the illusion of flight over two tiny trees in pots and a very solitary flower arrangement.

“This is very pretty,” Winry breathed, taking it all in as she stopped in front of two metal peacocks with tiny reflectors and candles in their tail feathers.

“It really is, Roy,” Riza said softly, going to look at the kite. This was side even she hadn’t seen before.

“Thank you.” Roy took a picture off the book shelf and handed it to Dev and David. “None of these men are probably in the history books but should have been. Maes Hughes, my best friend. It was his daughter you mistook as mine, David. He’s gone now. There’s me, of course, next to Maes. On the other side of him is Arnold Bryden. He died in Ishbal and on the other side of me is Serik, an Ishbalan who was my roommate with me and Maes for a year in the Academy. I never did learn what happened to him. I know he was rounded up with the rest of the citizens. I’d like to think he was just relocated to the camps but I know they killed him.” Roy’s voice broke. “I’m the only one in that picture left alive. Most of my friends are gone already.” He tossed his head like a horse. “Guess we all know how that feels. Everyone here lost someone in that war…well, I don’t know you, David, but certainly the rest of us.”

“My older brother, he came back minus three limbs. They’re all automail now so I guess, I’m luckier than most,” David replied softly.

“You look happy here,” Dev tapped the picture. “Or drunk.”

“Both,” Roy admitted.

“The Ishbalan was your friend?” The boy sounded surprised.

“A very good one. It was no easy thing, being sent off to war.” Roy shook his head. “I had no reason to hate anyone in Ishbal. I didn’t even understand fully what was going on but I thought I was doing what I had to for my country and later…when I did understand, it was too late. They had turned me into something I never wanted to be.”

“You killed children there. You nearly killed me,” Dev whispered.

“I tried not to. I didn’t want to and it won’t ever happen again. I won’t use this power to further my cause. I could, I could use it to become very powerful indeed but I won’t. If I wanted to take power from President Armstrong, there’d be little she could do to stop me but that’s not the kind of man I am,” Roy said, a morose expression on his face.

“There’s no guarantee of that,” Dev said.

“No, there is. It was a deal I made with Hawkeye. I would never teach anyone my alchemy, which was her father’s wish to begin with and if I ever stepped out of line, she would kill me,” Roy said flatly.

“That’s awful,” Winry shuddered, her eyes flickering between Riza and Roy. “You can’t think like that. I’ve given you back two good feet, Roy. It’s time for you to just move forward and leave this behind you as much as you can.”

Roy managed a lopsided grin for Winry. He wanted to go to Riza and hold her, seeing in her eyes how much of a toll this conversation was having on her. Instead he took the picture from Dev and put it back. “I think you’re right. Well, I think I’ve depressed you all enough for one night. Let’s go back to the other room and have some wine.”

“It’s not fair,” Dev said as he left the room. 

“What isn’t?” Aris asked, glancing at the boy.

“He’s not supposed to…I’m not supposed to like him,” the boy grumbled. “He’s not supposed to be like this.”

“I’m just a guy, not the hero here or the monster in your home. I’m just a mostly normal human being with a very different skill,” Roy said. “It’s harder to hate me in person, isn’t it?”

Dev nodded.

“That’s the way it should be. We should have to know someone before we can actually hate them and want to hurt them. It would probably happen a lot less that way,” Roy said, sitting down in front of the wine tray. “Who wants what?”

“We’ve kept you long enough, maybe we should go,” Uzziel said.

“If you want, but I don’t mind that you stay. I’d rather not be alone in this big place. I do that every night,” Roy said, hoping that wasn’t pity he saw in Riza’s eyes.

“Well, then I’m sure we can stay awhile,” Uzziel replied.

“Hawkeye can probably entertain you with more tales of embarrassment on my part,” Roy said wryly, pouring himself some rice wine.

“I could keep us here all night with those,” she shot back.

Roy snorted. “Kill me now.”

“Don’t tempt fate.” Winry smacked him on the head before going for the plum wine.

“You mentioned that the liaison position is still open,” Aris said, pointing at the rice wine. “The one that would reach out to our young folk.”

Roy nodded. “That position is still open as is the one as my personal attaché and bodyguard. They’re both rather thankless positions.”

“So why would you think I’d want it?” Dev asked.

Roy studied him for a moment. “Because you seem interested in making a change for your people but you would have to decide how best to do it.”

He made a face. “In other words, if I were to take it, I’d be seen as a traitor by those who want to isolate totally from Amestris.”

“That’s just half of it. You might learn of something like what happened today and have to make a choice, let them strike against a perceived enemy or stop them,” Riza said.

Dev shook his head. “Today was wrong. Those kids didn’t do anything to deserve to be hurt. They were just children and if he wasn’t there some of us would definitely have died before the firemen arrived.” He pointed at Roy with his hook. Dev considered the older man. “You could have run when that fire started to flash over but you stayed to save me. I wonder if the people who set the fire even gave a moment’s thought to the fact that an Amestrian might do that for an Ishbalan.”

“Probably not,” Roy said sardonically. “The job pays very well. You could probably buy your own damn automail.”

Dev nodded, looking down at his hook. “I heard that is hurts, automail.”

“Exquisitely,” Roy replied. “Think about it. Just know it’s a dangerous position, too. People might shoot at you.”

“If your job was so dangerous, then why did your president assign you to it, being the big hero of Ishbal?” Dev asked.

“He has a good point,” David said, giving Roy a curious look.

“Because…she thought I’d do a good job,” Roy said carefully, keeping his ‘because Olivia wants me dead because she knows I want to be president, too,’ to himself. “And I’m serious about the danger. Aris already works as a full liaison. He was there the last time someone tried to shoot me. Luckily nobody got hurt.”

“You _ruined_ my automail,” Winry reminded him. 

Roy sighed. “Next time I’ll try to take the bullet in a fleshy part, okay?”

“Automail can be replaced, you can’t.” Riza shot Winry a look and the girl blushed.

“I know,” Roy sighed, knocking back his rice wine and refilling his glass. “Me actually staying alive has seemed unlikely these last few years. I think that’s part of the reason I’ve been so…remote. Better if everyone just hated me and left me alone than have to deal with my death.” Roy ducked Winry’s irritated blow only to get hit by Riza instead. “Oww, quit hitting me.”

“Quit being a morbid ass,” Riza replied, her brown eyes flashing.

“Scaring people away and planning your own death is a bit…unusual,” David put in.

“Maybe. I suppose that’s the turn my life’s taken of late.” Roy shook it off. “So, anything else I can get for anyone? More alcohol, something to eat, a less depressing topic?” Roy found comfort in the role of host.

“Well, we could mention there might have been pictures of you at the celebration at the lake,” Winry grinned. “And I might be convinced not to sell them…or maybe you’d like the attention selling them would bring.”

“Don’t make me discourage people from using you as a mechanic, girl.” Roy huffed, taking another drink. “But the festival is over now and I think it was rather successful. Do you two think so?” he asked of the priests.

“I think it went much better than expected, barring idiots from both sides, trying to ruin it,” Uzziel said.

“Yes.” Roy looked over at Riza. “Now that it’s over, I guess you and David will be going back East.”

Riza swallowed hard and Winry looked like she wanted to kick Roy for bringing that up in front of everyone. “Yes, tomorrow actually.”

Roy looked at his wine cup. “That soon? Pity. I was enjoying getting to see you again, Captain. It almost felt like old times.”

“Yes,” Riza replied tightly.

“I think General Grumman wanted to station you back here with your former team,” Roy said, a miserable look flashing in his eyes. “I dissuaded him not to. You have a new life out East.” He cast a look at David. “It wouldn’t be fair.”

“Roy, I’d like a refill.” Winry shoved her glass in front of his nose before he could keep twisting the knife. 

He read her expression; do it or get hit again. He refilled it and let the conversation shift again. Somehow, in spite of it all, he wasn’t unhappy that his guests stayed late. The Ishbalans left first then David, Winry and Riza.

Riza hesitated on the outside step then held up a hand. “Hang on for a moment. I forgot something inside.” She barreled past Roy into the living room, waiting for him to follow. “Why would you bring that up? Me having to leave?”

“Because it’s reality,” he said, seeing his night was going to end in a fight and it was his own stupid fault. “Because I can’t ask you back here, because I don’t even know if you’d want to come back. You’re a captain now, you don’t belong doing work for me and the job I really want you to fill would mean you resigning because my bodyguard can’t be military. I can’t ask you to do that. We never even talked about it.” Roy’s fists clenched. “It would have been easier if you just kept hating me.”

Roy knew he was going to get hit. He didn’t even try to dodge the blow. He just wished Riza would have opted for an open-hand slap. He could feel his lip swelling.

“I never hated you. I tried but I couldn’t,” she said then whipped around and stalked outside.

Roy heard her telling the others that she found the nonexistent item and then they were gone. He wanted to run after her, beg her to stay, right in front of her new lover if he had to. He wanted to tell her that when he looked in her eyes, he saw his unborn children, that in those sepia depths he was home. Instead, Roy told himself he was doing the mature thing and letting her go. Shaking, he dragged himself back into the living room. Polishing off the bottle of rice wine left him ‘asleep’ on the couch.

X X X

Riza collapsed on the bed after they had taken Winry to her lodgings. “It’s been a terribly long day.”

“It really has, hasn’t it?” David got in next to her. “Riza, I know this is the wrong time but can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” 

“How long have you been in love with Mustang?” The question was flat, emotionless.

Riza flipped over on the bed to look at him. She wanted to lie. Instead she said, “I was in love with him even when I was that bratty little girl and for a long time afterward. Finally, it was like Roy said, he cut himself off and we went our separate ways. It’s been over a few years now.”

David shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve always known that there was something between us, something I could get around. I thought maybe it was the differences in our jobs and upbringing. I know it’s obvious that I just don’t understand military life but I’ve tried.”

“You’ve been wonderful, David,” she said honestly.

A sadness cloaked him. “I shouldn’t have brought it up tonight. But…”

“I have choices to make,” Riza whispered.

He nodded. “I know what I want to you chose but I think I know where you really belong.”

Riza touched his lips. “Please, I just…I need time.”

David put his arms around her. “You have it.”

“Thank you.” Riza turned in his arms, letting him pull her closer. She didn’t want him to see her cry even though she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone. How could he be so understanding? Why was Roy such an ass sometimes? It wasn’t fair. Fair or not, Riza already knew who she was going to chose. She just wanted it not to hurt so much.


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

Winry opened the front door to her Granny’s house, totally stunned to see Riza standing there. “Riza, I thought you were in Ishbal.” Her brow creased. “Don’t tell me the idiot broke his automail again!”

Riza held up a bulging bag. “For you.”

Winry looked inside and her jaw fell. “Pieces…there’s nothing but pieces. Is he alive? If he’s alive, I’m killing him myself. Even Ed wasn’t this bad.”

“He’s alive and fussing with Havoc and Dev. He doesn’t want to sit in a wheelchair but the doctor doesn’t want him up on his other leg either,” Riza said wearily, pointing to the car.

“Get him up here!” Winry hollered at the men then stalked inside. She opened up one of the patient rooms, hearing the creak of the wheelchair as it entered the house.

“If you’d just give me crutches none of this would be necessary!” Roy groaned.

“You took shrapnel in your leg, Boss. You heard the doc, no walking,” Havoc said wearily.

“Oh, just let him maim himself. He’s too much trouble. Tell me again why I had to come…here? It smells funny,” Dev grumbled, not helping Havoc in the ‘taking care of Mustang’ campaign.

“That’s sheep you smell and you need to see Winry anyhow about your arm,” Riza said then looked at the blonde girl and mumbled, “If I don’t shoot all three first.”

“Leave Mustang to me,” Winry said viciously. She pointed to the bed. “Help him into bed and you…you damn well better have a good excuse for why your leg is in a bag!” She poked a finger into Roy’s chest.

“I rescued an Ishbalan child out of a minefield and accidentally triggered a mine,” Roy said, not waiting for Havoc’s help. He hopped a step then all but fell into the bed.

Winry deflated. That _was_ a good excuse. She tapped his head. “Keep off the other leg. Why is following orders so hard for you?” Winry sat on the bed with him and put his stump across her knee. She inspected the docking port. “A mine?”

“Yeah. There are some old mines left in the desert. The kid was too young to know or to read the warnings. He went in and I just happened to be nearby when the cry went up. I followed his footprints in, figuring if he was okay then I would be, too. Problem was, on the way out the wind kicked up, damn desert sand. I was just a hairsbreadth from the edge when I heard the click. The mines go off when you release the pressure. I handed off the kid then made sure the automail was the only thing on the mine when I jumped. I figured that it could handle the blast much better than flesh and bone. I was just afraid it would blow up between my legs.” Roy shuddered. 

“He’s a hero…again,” Dev grumbled. “Though castration by bomb would have saved future generations from the likes of him.”

“You blew up my automail, ON PURPOSE?” Winry’s blue eyes flashed.

“I did and it worked beautifully. We all lived and I just needed a few stitches here and there in my other leg,” Roy said very quickly.

“And in your ass.” Dev snickered.

Roy pushed his stump down into the bed, trying to lever himself up on the side so he could glare at his assistant. “Shut up! I think I did hire him because I needed to fill that tiny little void left by a certain alchemist.”

Winry slapped him in the head. “Get off my docking port. It’s not meant to be used like that.”

“You take care of the big pest, granddaughter,” Pinako said, coming into the room. “I’ll handle the young one.” She looked up at Dev. “Let’s have that arm off and have a look-see at what we’ll be working with.”

“Huh?” Dev stared at the old woman.

“She’s Pinako Rockbell, also a mechanic,” Riza said in way of introduction. 

“My grandmother,” Winry added then glared down at Roy, grabbing his waistband. “Let’s get these pants off so I can see what you’ve done.” She started undoing his zipper.

Roy swatted her hand. “There’s a roomful of people.”

“Who’ve all seen a man in his boxers before.” Winry paused then yanked his pants down then shoved him down on the bed, getting him off his stump. “You’d better be wearing some.”

”I’m wearing underpants. I just wasn’t planning the world to see them,” Roy grumbled. 

“Me, Granny and probably a few others in here have already seen them, you’ll live.” Winry tapped his belly. “Riza, he’s getting skinny again.”

“He doesn’t eat.” Riza waved Winry off, something glinting in the movement.

Leaning on Roy’s belly, Winry reached for Riza’s hand. “What is that? Is that a ring?”

Riza held out her hand for inspection. “Yes.”

”It’s beautiful,” Winry said with a little bounce, her hand digging into Roy’s belly.

“You’re squashing me!” Roy groaned, trying to dislodge her.

“Hush.” Winry looking at the ring with its brilliant sapphire stone and gold and platinum metals swirling like wood grain. “This is that Xing metal folding technique, right? It’s beautiful! I want to know how that’s done.”

“That would make for a pretty leg,” Roy said contemplatively.

“Yes, do learn how to do the folding metal technique, Winry, that way this peacock I’m marrying can strut about properly.” Riza rolled her eyes as Winry gave her back her hand.

“Havoc, just don’t stand there. Save me from these two,” Roy ordered.

“Sorry, boss, this is too funny,” the man said, tapping out a cigarette.

“Don’t look at me, I only have one arm.” Dev waved his stump, now standing shirtless in front of Pinako, baring large burn scars over his chest and shoulder. “Besides, I want to see you suffer.”

“I had no idea Edward had an Ishbalan cousin,” Winry said wryly.

“Or a Xing one, either,” Riza said, giving Roy a look then took Havoc’s arm. “Come on, let Winry work in peace.”

“Goes for you, too.” Granny turned Dev around. “Let’s you and I talk about automail.” She shooed the young man from the room. 

Winry watched them go then took another long look at Roy’s docking port before getting up. She gazed down at him. “So, you finally did the right thing.”

He rubbed under his eye patch. “We didn’t want to tell you like this. We were going to come on the way back to Central and surprise you but then I got hurt.”

“Well, I’m happy for you. I think she’s been waiting for a very long time for this, when she could finally let go of duty and just do what she wanted.” Winry’s face fell. “I wish Ed could have managed that.”

“I think he has, now…I’m just sorry he couldn’t do it here with you. I’d bring-”

Winry put her hand over his mouth. “I know you would. And I know while you’re here recovering, you’ll be going through those tired, fat old books because Riza is just right about you being so very like Ed. We’ve already had this conversation several times. I accept they’re gone and won’t be coming back.”

“I know. Riza wants to talk to you about the wedding. I’m sure she’ll ask you to be in it.” He smiled at her.

“You leave all that talk to us women.” Winry pulled the thin blanket up over him. “You look exhausted, Roy. Take a nap.”

“Don’t you have to work on me first?” he asked resigned.

“You didn’t damage the docking port. I’ll just have to make a new leg,” Winry said. “You get some rest.”

Roy just nodded and shut his eye.

“And later, when you’re good and rested, I’m going to beat you simple for ruining my best work.” Winry smiled and darted out the door.

Roy wondered if he could hide behind his fiancée. No, she’d help Winry. Oh well, counting himself lucky to have such options and such people in his life, Roy let go of the brave façade and let the pain and exhaustion claim him.


End file.
